Category Archives: Blog

Decided to re-color my hair yesterday before the Dragon*Con staff meeting, as the last tinting had faded. There was a sale on the brand of hair coloring I like, but they didn’t have black, so I decided to try something different: dark brown. That’s close enough, I figured. Well, hmm. Apparently the brown was actually more of a medium brown, and it had a reddish undertone to it. As my hair is, well, black, usually such coloring treatments don’t have much effect (when in my younger days, I tried dying a couple locks of my hair platinum blonde–I got a sort of brownish orange after much peroxide and bleaching, and I also tried blue, which resulted in . . . black, with a bluish sheen). But this time I seem to have ended up with a sort of brownish copper at my roots. The ends are still quite black, but the roots took the color. I’ve never had copperish hair before. It’s . . . different.

Decided to run with it and shifted to a brown color scheme in makeup and clothes for the D*C meeting. No one commented upon it, so either they were too polite to decry my hair coloring fiasco, or it just wasn’t that noticeable. Matthew assures me it’s the latter. Debating now whether to just let it grow out, or buy some proper black and fix the color discrepancy.

Had an excellent Dragon*Con staff meeting yesterday. And, yes, seeing all those friendly faces did indeed cheer me up. *waves to dire_epiphany, astralfire, tk0667, and ghostgrrl*

Fingerman shamelessly plugged Fantasm to the extent that it looks like several D*C buddies are now going to work and/or attend.

And, despite the tremors of “eek” I had when I had to shout my staffing needs to the crowd, I think I filled all my staff vacancies. I think. I still need to get my staff numbers sorted out, but when I declared a need for folks who can do HTML and layout work, I got a slew of people stampeding up. Neat. Fingers crossed that I’ve got a good balance of reporters and technical folks this year. Last year I was too heavy on reporters, but I had my technical needs covered with a few key people. But I’m losing two of those (one to photography and the other to his own track) so now I’m scrambling to up my “tech” know-how so I don’t have to try and do it all myself. I’m not coherent at 3AM; I’m just not!

Hobkin was very upset with us for abandoning him for so long, but we plied him with bell peppers and parsnips, and he eventually forgave us. He slept with me all night, and he’s still curled up under the covers, the fuzzy bum.

Watched Loony Toons Back in Action and Chicken Run. Guess it’s an animation entertainment sort of week. I also feel the urge to watch Finding Nemo which we might do today, after we bop out to Micro Center.

Writing stats:

14 critiques so far on my current offering. This one isn’t going over so well. Will need to do some major overhauling in my rewrite, I fear.

Also received a “no thanks” from Neo-opsis, the new Canadian mag, on a submission. Suck.

Well, F&B didn’t chuck my story back at me for being too long, but I got a “going to pass on this” from one of the assistant editors. Suck.

Got a $25 gift certificate from Micro Center and took off an hour and a half from work to go with Matthew to spend it. Two hours later, we’re still stuck in traffic, and haven’t even gotten onto 85 yet. So we turned around and came back home. We’ll go out again later this weekend, not during rush hour, but it was a frustrating and disappointing Friday afternoon.

Also, my lab results came back. I’m not one of the folks who can’t tolerate Imuran, so have the a-ok from my Rheumatologist to go ahead and fill the prescription and start taking it. But I’m finding I’m quite reluctant to. I like being on fewer meds. Plus, there’s a slew of side effects to this one, par for these sorts of meds, I guess. They include: nausea/vomiting, increased frequency of infections, easy bruising and bleeding, and risk of developing cancer or leukemia.

Yes, I realize I should be taking something to keep me from having a MCTD/Lupus flare-up, but these drugs are scary.

Dragon*Con staff meeting today. I feel exceptionally blah. Hoping seeing some friendly faces will give me a pick-me-up.

My sleep cycles continue to be royally messed up.

Had nightmare after nightmare last night. I even cried out once, bringing Matthew rushing up to me to see if I was okay. And I remember many of them. I think I’d rather be dreaming of Geong Si Chinese zombies.

I’m not a big proponent of either Freud of Jung, but I also tend to believe that sometimes dreams are a good indicator of a psyche’s general state of being. For quite a long time, I didn’t dream, or I dreamed infrequently, and the dreams were pretty innocuous–surreal, Dada-esque settings and situations that were interesting but not all that troublesome, or the occasional bad dream, the roots of which were crystalline clear. Wasn’t undergoing much stressful at that time. Generally, things were pretty unexciting in waking and sleep.

This last bout of dreams were all about fear of going back. I dreamed I found out I had to return to my middle school (middle school of all things!) to finish two more hours that were listed as “incomplete.” No matter how much I protested that I’d graduated from college, had a fucking Master’s degree and everything, they still made me sit in that hell pit with some of the same evil cretins that populated it then. And then I was living back in my mother’s house. Or Matthew and I were living back in our old apartment in the Midwest. Etc. ad nauseum.

The theme was pretty consistent. Obviously I’m having some concerns about my future and I’m experiencing fears that I might be forced to go backward, and it scares me.

Great. So I’m not under enough stress during my waking hours, my subconscious wants to get involved?

So I’m awake and feeling not-terribly-rested. And unsettled. Stupid brain.

Brushed up the latest folk tale. Hell, I don’t know whether to call something a folk or a fairy tale anymore. I suspect prosewitch could give me a textbook definition . . .

Everything’s at first draft and ready to go up on Critters, and I’ve got a terrible backlog. My story inspired by Suzanne Vega’s “The Queen and the Soldier” is up this week, and behind it, I’ve got no fewer than four stories waiting to go in the queue. And no MPCs left. Need more MPCs. Guess that’s something for me to do this weekend.

Already at ten critiques of my current offering. No one except britzkrieg picked up on the religious symbolism. Dammit. My “Goddess Queen” is bleeding from wounds at her hands and from a sharp crown. I thought I was being ham fisted. Dammitdammitdammit. I don’t usually do this, but I think I might be wallowing in “it’s my art!” Too many folks just aren’t getting it. Obviously, I’m doing something wrong. But still, pfft.

Also, I’ve been researching Chinese afterlife/undead traditions and mythologies for a story concept. Nothing all that grisly or intense, but wouldn’t you know it, I had nightmares involving Chinese zombies, the Geong Si, last night.

So, 750 words on this new, nightmare-inducing story. Don’t know where I’m going with it. It seems to want to be some sort of paranormal mystery thingy.

Also risked sending a 6100 word story to Jack Fisher, the editor of Flesh & Blood. That’s 100 words more than the max. stated in his guidelines, but I was upfront about the word count in my cover letter. And he did invite me to send more. Sent him that surreal Kurt Vonnegut-inspired piece that I’ve labeled my “weird” story. Man, I really want to break into F&B. It’s a great ‘zine and I keep feeling like I’m getting closer. And yet, I remain sans cigars.

I said I was jonesing, and I’ve just had my fix!

I just sold “The Life and Times of Penguin” to Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine. It’s slated for issue #17. I’m quite pleased. I’ve been trying to break into them for ages. Woohoo!

Makes up for the rejection I also got from Flesh & Blood although the editor was very encouraging and invited me to submit more.

Matthew’s re-caulking the shower in the master bath so we can’t use it for a day or so. Had to trudge upstairs to the guest bathroom to shower this morning, and there was much juggling of shampoo and other sundries en route. I’m also a little frightened at the idea of my hubby fiddling with caulk. I’ve got this image of coming home to find Matthew and Hobkin caulked together, stuck to the shower wall. Eep.

I appear to be on a writing roll. Polished up the Horror story and the two folk/fairy tales. All three are at first draft. Going to bundle up the two folk tales together when I send them up to Critters, as together they’re only around 3000 words.

I also started and completed another folk tale, around 2000 words, which bumps my record up to four completed stories in a week. Neat.

Now I’m starting to jones for another sale. *twitch*

Did another 1100 words on the Japanese Horror story, bringing it to zero draft. Also started and completed another folk tale–around 1600 words on that. That’s three stories in less than a week. Apparently I really was stewing too much on the whole novel thing. As soon as I decided to rattle off some shorts, my writing gear went into overdrive.

Writing in fits and starts, that’s me. I wish there were a way for me to maintain my highest level of productivity consistently.

Matthew first-readered the Japanese Horror piece. Shaved off 500 words in the rewrite. Up to Critters it goes. Except Matthew said it read more like a fairy tale, which isn’t that surprising as it’s a very traditionally-styled piece, but I’m not sure if I should label it “H” or “F” for the queue. It seems I run into that conundrum rather frequently. Humph.

Also, my Tangent review of the March 2003 issue of Oceans of the Mind is now open to the public. And I got a nice email from Chris Nakashima-Brown for my review of his story “Script-Doctoring the Apocalypse” in Infinite Matrix. Guess that means at least one person read it.

Rejections over the weekend:
“Nice writing but . . . ” from JJA at F&SF.
“Good stuff here but . . . ” from Strange Horizons.
“We won’t be publishing this but look forward to seeing more” from Glimmer Train.

Ouch.

In better news, I’ve just passed the 100-day mark on a fairy tale I sent to Cricket. In my experience, everything they’ve kept for consideration for over a hundred days, they’ve either bought, or requested a rewrite of and then bought. So my hopes are climbing.

Also, it’ll be exactly one year in a few days since I sent a sub to The Strand. Might be time to query them again.

I was going to write this AM. My tea is brewing in its pot, and my writing area is all set up and ready to go. But while I was checking my email, Hobkin came wandering out from under the hutch, asked to be picked up, and is now crashed out on my lap. The most current version of the story I’m working on isn’t on the computer we do email at, so I’m stuck. Sigh. Ergo, I’m updating LJ instead. Maybe by the time I’m done with this entry I’ll have the heart to move him . . . probably not.

Friday: Groundpig Day
Anyone who knows us knows we don’t celebrate Valentines Day. Instead we do “Groundpig Day” (which is not at all the same thing as Groundhog Day). It’s a floating holiday, usually occurring around Februaryish. We decided it was Friday. Matthew made stuffed mushrooms and his delectable eggplant Parmesan. There was wine and cherry cobbler for dessert, with candlelight and soothing music, much soaking in the hot tub, and we watched Chicago. Very relaxing and tres romantique!

Saturday: All about the writing
Hit flow. A lot. Between doing research for the Japanese horror story I’m writing and actually putting words on the page, I think I wrote for nearly ten straight hours. 4000 new words. Getting near the climax of the story. Unsure if I’ll be able to keep it under 6K, but that’s what rewriting is all about.

Also made a last minute decision not to go to the Fantasm Staff thingy as I was too deep in the writing. Gotta court the muse when she visits.

When I finally had to stop writing ’cause the words were blurring on the screen, we watched Men in Black II and the remake of Bedazzled with Brendan Frasier. Light, amusing fare, nothing too deep.

Today: more writing
As soon as I can get unpinned from under Hobkin, I want to pick up the Japanese horror story where I left off. I’m thinking I might be able to bring it to zero draft by the end of today. Unless I get derailed, which happens all too frequently. But still, good weekend overall, regardless.

Okay, must awaken skunk. But . . . but, he’s just so cute! Dammit.

Okay, I’m not a fan of snow and ice. The Midwest winters are one of the things I’m grateful not to have to experience anymore. But this morning driving to work was lovely. The air was warm and soft, yet there was a layer of beautiful white and crystalline ice over all the trees. It had that pristine, untouched look that only freshly fallen snow has.

I left Hobkin curled up under the covers when my alarm went off. Usually he wakes up when I’m in the shower and realizes that I’ve abandoned him then trots off in a huff under his hutch. But by the time I was putting on my coat and getting ready to leave, he was still soundly asleep. I left him and Matthew all tucked in under the covers. Awww.

Writing stats:

Back in the groove, more or less. Another 200 words on the fairy tale, and I’m at zero draft with it. Going to have Matthew first reader it, then decide whether or not I want to send it up to Critters, or wait until I’ve got another fairly short tale and bundle it together for review. It’s a bit on the short side.

Also started a Japanese horror story: 1000 words. When I first started, it was a fairly simple tale. But as I’m getting into it, it’s beginning to take on some deeper dimension. Hoping to keep it under 6K. We’ll see. Going to try to write a big chunk of it this weekend.

Also received the edits for “Razi and the Sunbird” from Cricket. Rah!

Realized I was getting thoroughly bogged down by the prospect of novel writing, to the jeopardy of doing any writing. So I brushed off my “projects” folder and pulled out something I’ve been thinking about writing, something light and easy, and started in.

It’s another fairy tale. My inventory of stuff waiting to go to the Carus group is now back to empty, so the damper holding back my “fairy tales!” muse-inklings has been lifted.

1500 words and very close to zero draft. Another day of writing should bring me to “the end.”