Category Archives: Blog

Yesterday was a wash on the writing front. I took myself off the Diclofenac. That whole throat closing, swelling digits thing was screaming “allergic reaction” to me. And already, my joints are beginning to ache again. My Rheumatologist agreed that I should stop taking the Diclofenac, but to replace it? “Take Tylenol,” he said. Sigh.

Also, in order to cleanse my system faster, I went off the caffeine cold turkey yesterday. Big mistake. I was doing okay, hurting but okay, until I got into the car to go home. But between going off the NSAID and the caffeine and the brief exposure to the outdoors, my head decided to explode. During the drive, if someone had suggested “Hey, I got this small plush bear, how ’bout I replace your brain with it?” I would have lunged at the chance. Pain was almost bad enough to reduce me to tears.

Soon as I got home, I downed two Excedrin, and then after dinner took a third. Since one of the main ingredients in Excedrin is caffeine, I started feeling much better right quick. Also noticed an interesting phenomenon: Hobkin is a source of endorphins for me. Not a big enough one to seriously combat a killer caffeine withdrawal headache, but noticeable. While I was whimpering on the couch, trying to hold my skull together, Hobkin hopped up to see what the matter was. I hugged him, and suddenly felt an ebbing of pain. Huh. I assume it’s due to the XX maternal instinct kicking in. Mothers defend and aid their young ones in the face of daunting disability and all that. But still, huh.

Today, I learned my lesson and had coffee with my breakfast. Time to wean myself off the caffeine teat again–wean being the key word, as cold turkey might just kill me if I try that one more time.

Writing status: I was in agony and then dazed from the aftereffects of pain. So, 0 new words. But I did watch the last episodes of The Littlest Groom and My Big, Fat, Annoying Fiancé. If my brain cells weren’t already sludge last night, they would have shrieked in protest.

Maybe someone did replace my brain with a stuffed toy after all . . .

But something I can do with a liquefied brain (and really tawdry reality shows on in the background) is research. So I clicked about online to learn about how children’s book publishing works. Up until now, I’ve only been looking at magazines as homes for my children’s works. The whole children’s book publishing world is an unexplored vista for my humble submissions. Theoretically.

Created by (and swiped from) the fantabulous cantstopthedawn

Waiting for this week to be over. Waiting waiting waiting. Yesterday was not as suck-worthy as earlier days in the week, but there’s a false-lull-of-safety feeling to it. Not to mention the hammer-hanging-of-doom which I’m trying not to think overmuch about.

Been using Hobkin as a stuffed toy at night for comfort as he’s very soft, warm, and cuddly. This morning, when my alarm went off, I tried to get up without disturbing him. He stayed asleep in the blankets until I got out of the bathroom, and then he hopped down, groggy and sleepy, with his fur all mussed and chaotic. Morning fur. Absolutely adorable. Gave me a much-needed giggle.

Loved last night’s Angel episode. Angel as a grumpy muppet! And when he turned all fangy! *squee* How can they cancel that, I ask you?

Also, Matthew’s birthday present to me, the new Tanith Lee book Piratica came in the mail from amazon.uk. Will be engaged in desperately needed escapist reading over the weekend.

Finished the rewrite on the Urban Fantasy, packaged it up, and out it went. My writing ego has taken a walloping these last couple weeks. I could really use a juicy sale.

Also managed 800-words on the paranormal romance thingy. Finished chapter 1, starting in on chapter 2.

Still feel like crap. If yesterday had happened in just about any other week aside from this one, it would count as a pretty decent day. But, while I no longer feel like building a fort out of our couch cushions and hiding there until next year, this week is still bad.

Bad week. No biscuit.

Okay, I’m having a very, very bad week. The worst of it I’m trying not to dwell on ’cause I can’t deal with it properly except in very small doses, but there’s still plenty of other bad to write about.

First of all, I feel like crap. The new NSAID my Rheumatologist prescribed, Diclofenac, hurts my GI system even when I take it with food (as they recommend). For several hours after a dose, I’m in massive tummy discomfort. And I have to take it twice a day.

I’ve also got some sort of cold or bug or my immune system is having a mild freak out. I’ve stopped taking the Methotrexate and am on hold until my blood test results come in, letting me know if I’m one of the 1 out of 10 that would experience life-threatening side effects on Imuran. So my immunosuppressant meds are reduced to a very low dose of prednisone–prime time for a flare-up. My throat’s sore, my fingers feel swollen, and I’ve got a lingering headache. Plus I can’t take anything for my various aches and pains except Tylenol, because they interact with the Diclofenac. And Tylenol does piddly squat.

Then, On Spec finally sent me word about the story they’ve been sitting on. 333 days. That’s nearly a whole year, and the answer is “no.” They said it was charming, but in the end decided it wasn’t for them. Wah! I’m very disheartened by this rejection. I really was hoping to have found a home for this story. Damn.

Also, received a your “work was on our short list for publication consideration but . . . ” from Flashquake on (duh) a flash piece they’ve been sitting on since November.

And Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine told me via form letter to snog off.

Sending everything back out again, of course, but paired with the lack of winning news from Phobos, I’m having a very dejected time of it.

Writing progress:

Working on the Urban Fantasy rewrite. Ended up with something like forty-four crits of it. Should have it done and the story out the door before the weekend. That’s the plan, at least.

In a fit of angst, fury, and despair, I started another novel. 3500 words into a paranormal romance. Yes, a romance. Why? Because I’ve never written a romance before. Glah.

This week totally blows goat chunks. And it’s not anywhere near over yet.

Shiny shiny shiny!

We bought a new computer from an outfit in Duluth called Micro Center. They’re a big computer/electronics store, rivaling Best Buy’s and Circuit City’s niche. Bought the Sony VAIO we’ve been looking at for several hundred dollars cheaper than we’ve seen it.

Spent last night getting it set up. Still need to transfer the slave 80GB drive from the old system to the new system, and get all the software loaded, but it’s shiny and fast, and has a DVD burner.

We’re thinking about networking the old and new computers together so we can both access high-speed broadband goodness at the same time. But that will require some furniture shifting . . . or purchasing. And maybe buying a flat-panel LCD monitor for space-saving.

But very pleased.

And also I fixed the old scanner. How? I shook it a couple times. Sometimes low-tech solutions are the way to go. . .

Had britzkrieg and her fiancé over last night to watch Sixth Sense which neither of them had seen before, and they’d also somehow managed not to have the ending spoiled for them. I really enjoy that movie, although I think this was the only time I’ve seen it that I wasn’t unnerved by it. Then again, it took me three viewings of it to watch the whole thing through without hiding my eyes through parts of it. I’m such a wuss.

We also did our taxes yesterday. Quite pleased with the results. Going to use the refund to buy a new computer! Shiny.

Had a follow-up with my Rheumatologist. He’s referring me to a pulmonary specialist as he still can’t figure out why I’m having such problems breathing. Also he put me on a prescription NSAID (diclofenac) and is switching me off Methotrexate and onto Imuran. So, more pills. And I’ve got to have a slew of blood tests done to make sure I can tolerate the Imuran. Pin cushion me. Sigh.

I was in so much pain on Thursday it made me furious. So I decided to try to meditate some of it away. I’ve been out of practice with my yoga, but I still remember the techniques, dammit. And hey, it worked! After half an hour of meditation and relaxation focus, I could breathe easier, and I hurt so much less. And I was in a better mood. I think I’m going to try to get back into the meditation groove. If nothing else, it’s self-hypnosis with a goal of relaxation pain management/stress diffusion.

And finally, heard from a couple fellow past Phobos winners that the results of the 2003 contest are beginning to go out. They know this because they got an email from the CEO that they’re winners.

I haven’t gotten any such email.

I suspect that means “Tried as an Adult” can be clumped into the non-winner category. Waiting for the final word, but in my (albeit limited) experience, the good news goes out in one batch, and the other news goes out later, in a more leisurely fashion.

Damn.

I’m prepping myself for a great deal of disappointment over this. Whereas it’s possible I might be a winner still and the email was delayed, I think it’s more likely that I should gear up for a good mope fest. In preparation for this probable eventuality, Matthew bought home cake. He’s a sweetie.

But still . . . wah!

Going to try not to think about it today and instead focus on shopping for a new, shiny computer.

Okay, I’ve made precious little progress on my fiction writing these last bunch of days, but I’ve been having a lot of fun doing other writing stuffs.

Polished up the Tangent review of “Script-Doctoring for the Apocalypse” by Chris Nakashima-Brown in Infinite Matrix, then did a couple synopses for Scrybe Press.

Wish there was a way to make a living doing this sort of thing . . .

Okay, the writing news I had to hold off on announcing, I can announce, now that I’ve actually delivered the goods. I was asked by one of my writing group buddies who is an editor for Tangent if I would like to be a reviewer for them. Since Tangent is widely read (nominated 4-times for a Hugo) by editors, publishers, and, of course, writers, I jumped at the chance. Name recognition good.

My review for the Winter 2003 issue of Oceans of the Mind just went up, and I’ll be doing a review of Infinite Matrix soon as well. Tangent is a subscription ‘zine (at $5 a year, it’s a steal!), but all reviews are opened to the public two to three weeks after they’re posted.

Very pleased to add another feather to my writing cap.

Sent the letter off to the editor of Cricket today, giving my a-ok on her edits.

So far, twenty-eight critiques of my story currently up at Critters. A bit of inconsistency of the feedback I’m getting is driving me nuts. I’ve received “your message is too sledgehammery” as well as “I don’t get it” comments in about equal measure. It’s a social commentary on homeless people, dammit! If my theme is delivered too heavy-handedly, how come so many people aren’t getting it? Wah!

Also, got a note from the Editor/Publisher of Scrybe Press proposing a paying barter writing gig. He’s asked me to try my hand at writing book jacket synopses with the proposed trade of a signed book (I assume the book I synopsize) for every synopsis I write. Sounds shiny to me!