Drained, strung out, and euphoric

When a person’s passionate about what they do, it can make for some pretty obsessive behavior:
– My eating’s been on the scant side this last week. At my day job, I’ve been skipping lunch, opting instead to munch a handful of crackers out of the cache of edibles I keep in my desk so I won’t have to stop writing. And at home, I’ve been bolting my meals so I can get back to work.
– My sleep’s been patchy, and I haven’t particularly felt tired–although, admittedly, Adderall’s a great short-term sleep replacement. I went to bed well past midnight last night and woke before my alarm, eager to read fosteronfilm‘s feedback on my story and start on the first draft pass.
– I’ve been irritated with the driving portion of my commute, even though the roadways have been relatively uncongested (for Atlanta), because all I’ve wanted to do is get on the train as fast as I can so I could open up my laptop and get writing again. And I’ve generally been short-tempered and cranky at anything and everything that’s gotten in the way of me writing.

But finally, the story’s at first draft. I’m drained, strung out, and euphoric. But I think it might be decent . . . I hope. Next up, sending it out for critique.

   


Writing Stuff

Published:
– The Pseudopod podcast of “Wanting to Want” is up. Actually, it went up last week, and I didn’t realize until yesterday, when I got a note from the reader, Tabitha Smith, saying she liked the story. Still haven’t listened to it (see above re: obsessive writing), but I’m looking forward to doing so. Although I glanced at the comments and they’ve been less than glowing so far.

New Words/Editing:
– 900 words, a title change, a rewrite/editing pass, and “Fire Rabbit of the Clan of Bótù” is at first draft. I’d like to cut it down, since it’s at 9400 words, but at this point, I’m not sure what to cull. Hoping something bubbles up in critique.

Caught a rather embarrassing blunder that I’m glad I detected before anyone else did, and certainly before I submitted it. There are not two weeks between a first quarter moon and a full moon, only one–at least on this planet. Whoops. But, all fixed now.

And I’m waffling on which romanization style to use with regard to my characters’ names. I’m using the Hanyu Pinyin transliteration system, which is the standard of Mainland China, but it doesn’t normally use hyphens, instead stringing syllables together to make a single “word” and/or separating them with a space. However, I’m wondering if hyphenating would make it clearer that my characters’ names are chunks to be spoken as a unit, rather than a Western-style first and last name. However, hyphens are typically only used in Taiwanese names, which are romanized with Wade-Giles, not Pinyin. I’d like to make the hyphenating consistent with the romanization style, but Wade-Giles just bites.

Meh. I’m undoubtedly overthinking this. In my experience, native Chinese speakers don’t particularly care how their language is mangled into English. Hell, my mother spells my stepdad’s given name as a single word, and he spells it as two–which drives me nuts when I’m emailing them, as I don’t want to, y’know, commit the faux pas of spelling my stepdad’s name wrong. But if they think how his name is transliterated to English is too trifling a matter to come to a consensus on between them, it’s probably not something I need to wring my brain over for my story. As fosteronfilm pointed out when I tried to explain to him my dilemma, it’s not like anyone would notice (or care) either way.

Zokutou word meter
9,413 / 9,000
(104.6%)

Club 100 for Writers: 16

Writing writing writing.

Added items to my “things to do” list on the train, and then I got frightened and closed the file. Yep, I’m totally doing a “I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.” Guess that’s what I get for living in Atlanta; Scarlett O’Hara’s abysmal work ethic is rubbing off on me.

   


Writing Stuff

Received:
– Note from the editor of IGMS letting me know that the next issue with “Beauty’s Folly” will go up at the end of June. Also that, alas, while initially they were going to use my story as the cover one, in the interim, they got a story from Peter S. Beagle, and hence I have been bumped. I sort of guessed that when I saw they’d lined up a work by him for the next issue. While a bummer, frankly, I’m just thrilled to be sharing a ToC with the man.
– Galley proofs for “The Life and Times of Penguin” from Farrago’s Wainscot and invite to submit to their next issue.

New Words/Editing:
– 445 words on “Daughter of Fire in the Clan of Bó-tù” and an editing pass. The more I look at it, the more dubious I am about the title. Thinkthinkthink.

Got stymied on a research point so went to my Chinese subject matter experts, my mom and stepdad. And they were able to answer what an hour of Googling could not. Of course.

Estimating I’m 98% to zero draft now, and it’s looking pretty good on the word count front. I axed a superfluous character in the editing pass and I don’t think I’m in any danger of going over 9K. Might even be able to cull it down to under novelette length in the rewrite, since I’m pretty ruthless about making editing cuts.

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
8,486 / 9,000
(94.3%)

Club 100 for Writers: 14

Pain and Productivity: A Writer’s Life

Spend the weekend writing. Wrote for nine and eleven hours straight on Saturday and Sunday, respectively. By the time I shut my laptop yesterday, my arms were throbbing lengths of agony with half-numb typing stubs on the end. But I didn’t feel a thing until I stopped.

I can certainly feel them this morning. Ouch owie ow. Can’t take anything to dull the pain, of course. Anything over the counter won’t work, and in fact will likely make them worse, and I don’t have any tramadol with me. ‘Sides, if I took a tramadol, it would take all my willpower not to become a drooling zombie at my desk. Certainly couldn’t write.

   


Writing Stuff

I’ve shoved everything aside to work on the story (tentatively titled “Daughter of Fire in the Clan of Bó-tù”–which I think might be overlong) for the Datlow/Windling anthology, including all the outstanding Tangent and The Town Drunk items. My things-to-do list is beginning to look like it’s acquired sentience and has launched a campaign for world domination. And I’ve even stopped adding things to it that need to go on ’cause I haven’t wanted to interrupt the writing.

This could get scary. Um, I’ll think about that tomorrow . . .

New Words:
– 8041 on “Daughter of Fire in the Clan of Bó-tù” with almost 4K of those just from yesterday.

Mostly at zero draft. Maybe call it 96% to zero draft. ‘Course, I haven’t looked at huge chunks of the words I put down yesterday, yet. I suspect vasty huge gobs of them are crap and will need to be cleaned up. But by and large, the story’s on the page. Some of the dialogue is just sketched in, and a couple places I shoved in a “and this happens here” synopsis when the ideas and story were coming out faster than I could compose readable prose. And there are a couple big question mark placeholders when I had ad hoc research items I needed to look up but didn’t want to stop to do.

Again, I wonder if I’m simply better suited to be a short story writer. I hit flow. Boy, did I. How I conceptualize stories just seems better suited for shorter lengths.

Then again, this is another case of word count creep, turning out longer than I expected (and I still gotta flesh out the “and this happens here” patches–I’m a wee bit concerned that I might end up pushing the 10K max.), which suggests that maybe I might be working my way up to novel-length. ‘Course getting there via word count creep is going to get somewhat grisly once I hit the “novella” stage.

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
8,041 / 9,000
(89.3%)

– 200 on the Fox Princess novel.

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
15,333 / 40,000
(38.3%)

Club 100 for Writers: 13

Pain vs Productivity

Took another tramadol last night and my wingstubs feel better, but I think I have to stop taking them. While I’m not suffering from free-floating irritability this morning, I feel like my brain’s encased in a layer of mush. Adderall and caffeine are barely penetrating it. I simply cannot function like this, and I certainly can’t write.

Gargh.

   


Writing Stuff

Received:
– Edits for “Year of the Fox” from mroctober for So Fey.
– Contrib. copy, at last, of GrendelSong #2. Yay! Most distressingly, the USPS seems to have eaten the first copy that Paul sent, but he was gracious enough to send off another. It’s puuuuurty.
– An email from Ellen Datlow inviting me to submit to the next anthology she and Terri Windling are editing in their “mythic fiction” YA series. Omigod omigod omigod! I had to restrain myself from gushing like a rabid fangirl all over my reply. I’ve got all the anthologies in their Snow White, Blood Red series, and it’s been one of my life’s writerly ambition to have a story published in one of their folklore/fairytale anthologies. *SQUEEEE!*

Now, of course, I have to come up with something worthy of the anthology. Gleep.

New Words/Editing:
– 200 on the Fox Princess novel.

Put down a good character development moment via channeling my grumpy from yesterday, but I’m still stymied on the scene. However, I do think a solution is brewing in my back brain. I’m coming up with bits and pieces of ideas that haven’t yet jelled into something usable, but it’ll all turn out well. How? It’s a mystery.

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
15,105 / 40,000
(37.8%)

Club 100 for Writers: 9

Tramadol and me

I broke down and took a tramadol last night. It took somewhat longer to knock me out than it usually does; I made it all the way through the season finale of House. Makes me wonder if the bottle I’ve got has passed its effective date. ‘Course by the time I started speculating about that, it hit me like a falling anvil, and I went comatose before I could check.

Woke up woozy and irritable this morning. Woozy I expected, but fractious, I didn’t. Struggling not to bite anyone’s head off this morning. The Adderall and coffee are helping to alleviate my foul mood, but I still feel like I’ve got a miffed Elder God on a short rein. Until I can mollify said Elder God, my ability to play well with others is pretty tenuous. I’m trying not to send emails or interact too much with people so I won’t say or send something I’ll regret later. But it’s a little tricky ’cause my swelling “to do” list includes several belated correspondences.

I hate feeling like my emotions are at odds with my intellect. The reasonable, rationale me knows I don’t have any basis to be snarly and cantankerous, but the unthinking, feeling me wants to lash out indiscriminately.

On the plus side, my wingstubs feel better.

   


Writing Stuff

Received:
– Edits for “Princess Bufo marinus, I Call Her Amy” from Mirrorstone Books (via mroctober), including a request to rename it to “Princess Bufo marinus, Also Known as Amy.” I’m inclined to prefer my original title, but I’m pretty bendy when it comes to editorial requests, so I suspect I’ll end up okaying it.

New Words:
– 1150 on the Fox Princess novel.

I think I wrote myself into a corner. The chapter wanted to go a different direction than I’d outlined, and I went with it ’cause I was feeling discontented about the pacing, and this new scene speeds things up nicely. But now my protagonist is facing an adversary I can’t figure out a way for her to either defeat or escape. So now I need to either rewrite the scene and go with my outlined events–and come up with a way to fix the pacing–or think up a plausible solution to her current circumstances. Urg. Thinkthinkthink.

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
15,105 / 40,000
(37.8%)

Club 100 for Writers: 8

Skunk on foot

Wingstubs hurt. Much writing to do. So here’s a picture of Hobkin from last night. He climbed up and flopped his head on my foot:

He stayed like this until my foot and leg fell asleep, and I was forced to move him. I set him at his more customary position at my side, where he was more than happy to resume his nap.

I am naught but a skunk pillow.

   


Writing Stuff

The interview lynnejamneck did with me is now up at Strange Horizons.

Received:
– Request from Amy Boxio-Andrews to interview me for Absolute Write. Of course I said “yes.”

New Words:
– 930 on the Fox Princess novel.

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
13,950 / 40,000
(34.9%)

Club 100 for Writers: 7

Memorial Day Weekend: Pirates

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End was much fun. We joined a horde of pirates who were helping the theater out by selling movie posters to benefit charity–the same group who fosteronfilm had gotten tickets to for the publicity screening of Pirates of the Caribbean in March (that I couldn’t make ’cause it was in the middle of session).

Captain and crew had asked us along as thanks for that, which was right decent of them. Among the motley crew was pyanfar, so we got a chance to chat with her. Although it was past my bedtime and I get cranky and turn into a pumpkin when I’m tired, so I wasn’t at my best. At least if I growled at someone, it was in good piratey character. Ahhrrr. The cinema people had us pirates in a theater all by ourselves for a special screening. Undoubtedly for the best. Pirates are rowdy, bawdy, and gregarious folk. Don’t want to scare or irk landlubbers who paid good doubloons to be there.

The movie itself was great. The pacing was much better than Dean Man’s Chest. There was swashing, there was buckling, there were stunning costumes for Keira Knightly, fantastic EFX, and a magnificent ship battle at the end. Greatly enjoyed and recommend it. Read fosteronfilm‘s review!

   


Writing Stuff

Wanted to get some good writing done this holiday weekend, and I’ve hauled myself up to my library office most diligently. Go, me.

Although something’s gone awry with my ergonomic set-up, and I can’t figure out how to fix it. My wingstubs have been aching these last couple days. I’d almost managed to put from mind how distressing that pain is and how much it pervades my consciousness when they flare up. It’s a constant ache that shades every moment of my day. I haven’t started popping tramadols yet, but I’m thinking about it. Except I really don’t like pairing tramadol with Adderall; it’s a bit too much of a yo-yo up-down-up-down on the physiology. Wreaks havoc on my productivity, which defeats the purpose of taking the stupid pills in the first place.

Received:
– The galleys from Strange Horizons for the interview lynnejamneck conducted with me. Also word that it’s going up on Monday. Hurray!
– Letter from Cricket that they’ve slated my story, “The Tanuki-Kettle,” for their July ’07 issue. Delighted me. If I do say so myself, this is one of my more charming ones, and I’m verily stoked to see the illustrations.

Also, I’m especially pleased/relieved ’cause I was really hoping they’d schedule another of my stories that they’ve got in inventory for publication in ’07 other than “The Snow Woman’s Daughter” (which was in February’s issue). Last year, they published three of them, but one was for Spider. I’m wondering if they don’t like clumping the same author too many times in a year’s lineup. Or maybe my stories aren’t hitting their themes right. Pondering the vagaries of that end of the publishing biz is probably a good road to a padded cell. I’ll nip that bud and just say “yay!”

New Words:
– 1500 on the Fox Princess novel. I actually hit flow! I haven’t done that in so long, I’d almost forgotten what that feels like, the headspace high of story pouring through fingers and eyes onto the page. Nummy writing goodness. More please.

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
13,012 / 40,000
(32.5%)

Club 100 for Writers: 5

Late night pirates, ahhhrrr

Going to a midnight advance screening of the third Pirates of the Caribbean movie, At World’s End, tonight with fosteronfilm. Yes, in pirate garb. With it clocking in at 2 hours 48 minutes, I expect to be rather bleary-eyed at work tomorrow, but I hope it’ll be worth it. Ahrrrr!

Maybe I’ll take a nap after dinner . . .

   


Writing Stuff

New Words:
– 1250 on the Fox Princess novel. And I’m back on track. Yay!

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
11,494 / 40,000
(28.7%)

Club 100 for Writers: 2

icanhascheezburger

Had a couple good night’s sleep, and I’m recovered from Mobicon. Lots to catch up on, but, as an amusing diversion, here’s a link from elemess that made me squee: icanhascheezburger.com.

   


Writing Stuff

Received:
– Contrib. copy of Bash Down the Door and Slice Open the Badguy. Shiny. Would’ve liked to have gotten it last week, but still. Shiny.

New Words:
– 550 on the Fox Princess novel.

I’m 750 words behind the 2500 words/week goal I set after losing a day of writing from Mobicon. Not stressing; it’s not a major deficit. I can make it up in a day if I focus and hit flow, but I do need to make a push this week to catch up. Being somewhat familiar with the vagaries of my brain, if I let myself lag too far behind, I’ll lose my incentive to maintain the pace, and I really don’t want to risk that hit to my momentum.

I also lost my place again in Club 100, even not counting Friday, as I allow myself holidays and vacations off. But I should’ve gotten something on the page Monday. And yet.

Sigh. I suck.

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
10,244 / 40,000
(25.6%)

Club 100 for Writers: 1

Mobicon part II

Mobicon rawked! I see now why jackzodiac always raves about it. These folks put on a first rate event. I’m low on sleep, and the neurons are verily sluggish, so this will be a cursory convention-in-review. Apologies to all the wonderful folks I will undoubtedly forget to mention.

I was a judge for the costume contest with the lovely, talented, and charming Chase Masterson; her sweetie and director, James Kerwin; and, of course, jackzodiac.

After the contest, before the winners were announced, they had a “7-Minute Costume Contest” whereupon contestants get a bag with a length of material, a roll of duct tape, aluminum foil, and scissors and have to create a costume in seven minutes. They asked if Chase, Davey, and I would like to join the fray. Who in their right mind would refuse the prospect of such silliness? So we had seven minutes to do Davey up as a “Klingon Robin Hood.”


Chase (who is, of course, the Klingon expert) decided that he needed breasts. . . and lipstick. Isn’t Davey pretty?

I was a wee bit trepidatious about the Slave Auction, although I was assured that my participation was optional. The auctioneer, Joe-Bob (Joe-Bill?), was a riot–bawdy and lighthearted–perfect for the event. And he knew how to show off his wares to their best effect. There was topless dancing . . . from the men, including a pair of marines (a matched set!), who demonstrated their physical fitness to the cheering crowd by dropping and doing 20 push-ups, and an enthusiastic young man who exhibited his lap dancing prowess with a lovely volunteer–all to benefit the Bay Area Food Bank. Chase and James also stepped up to the auction block and, after some heated bidding, went for a jaw-dropping $600. And, when Wayne asked me pretty-please to offer myself up for bidding, how could I refuse? A big “thank you!” to Bill, the very generous “master” who “purchased” me for $400(!).

After the auction was the Boobie Brigade’s Dead Debutante Ball. Dancing, drinking, and making merry in the name of charity! Got to chat and catch up a bit with yakdog (of Fantasm/Frolicon) and other convention peeps. I was formally inaugurated into the illustrious Boobie Brigade ranks by the end of the dance.

We did some wandering to room parties afterward, but my feet were hurting so much, the one with the couch seemed the most alluring. Crashed back in our room at around 3AM and set two alarms as fosteronfilm and I both had 10AM panels on Sunday. Oog. But I felt surprisingly well rested by the next morning. Not so much today, though . . .

Major snaps and kudos to Cathy Chandler, the Entertainment Chairperson of Mobicon, for her prowess in herding cats and for making sure all our needs were catered to; Don Schermerhorn and Wayne Hergenroder, for being darlings and inviting us to play at their convention, and the rest of the Directors, Governors, and staff of Mobicon for working so hard to make sure folks had a great time.

More pix: Continue reading