Category Archives: Blog

Sports Night

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fosteronfilm and I had a lovely evening last night with yukinooruoni. He introduced us to Sports Night, a short-lived television series comedy-drama. It’s excellent (which is undoubtedly why it was canceled). The dialogue is superb, lightning fast and keenly clever, and the story lines are poignant and moving. It’s a good blend, humor and drama. Like humor and horror, it’s a formula more writers should really try to tap into. Humor is an excellent tool for undercutting tension as well as for making characters sympathetic.

We only made it through the first disc and a half (or so), but yukiooruoni kindly left the DVD boxed set with us so we can watch the rest of them. I’m quite looking forward to it.

I’ve been doing some overhauling of my eugiefoster.com website–mostly adding GoogleAds (if folks want to help out a struggling writer for free, gimme some clickage or download Firefox) as well as sprucing up my Amazon.com “buy” links. While testing my pages, I noticed a recent guestbook entry: “A great site where one can enjoy the thought of a great mind long departed. Cheers for the good work!” Um, did I miss something? “Long departed”? Last I checked, I was still pretty lively, up and kicking and all.

   


Writing Stuff

Well, I finally did it. I’ve received so many submissions from seriously misguided writers who are under the misapprehension that Tangent is a publishing house (the amount of clueless that that denotes truly boggles) that I’ve composed a form letter to reply to them. I did my level best to maintain a professional tone and not let my extreme incredulity come through:


Dear Mr. XXXX:

May I respectfully suggest that you reconsider your marketing strategy? Tangent is not a fiction publisher. We are an industry publication that specializes in reviewing genre short fiction.

As such, I am going to pass on your proposal, unread.

I highly recommend that you peruse professional writing organization websites such as the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America (www.sfwa.org) in order to gain a better understanding of how to identify appropriate markets for your work, as well as to familiarize yourself with the industry-accepted method of submitting your work to editors and publishers.

Sincerely,

That doesn’t come across as snarky, does it? I tried really hard to reign in the snark.

Editing:
A couple passes and a rewrite (a la fosteronfilm‘s first reader input), and I culled nearly 400 words from “Honor is a Game Mortals Play.” First draft loaded up to Critters. Rah!

Zokutou word meter
6,490 / 6,000
(108.2%)

Club 100 For Writers
      5

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6 Comments

Watched Inosensu: Kôkaku kidôtai (Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence) last night, courtesy Netflix. Actually, it’s probably more accurate to say that fosteronfilm watched it, while I glanced up periodically to appreciate the shiny, cyberpunk pictures and skim the subtitles while I huddled over my laptop, writing. I’m not actually sure of the details of the plot, something to do with the examination of the nature of souls, but it was pretty.

Sometime in the future, I think I’d like to sit down and watch it properly. It seems I don’t multitask writing and subtitles well. But I was on a roll, writing-wise. Didn’t go to (that is, stagger to and flop into) bed until 6AM.

   


Writing Stuff

Received:
Payment from Here & Now for “My Friend is a Lesbian Zombie.” Huzzah! Contrib. copy on the way. Although I do have a slightly reamed–“slightly reamed,” is that an oxymoron?–feeling from the PayPal fees and their conversion rate between pounds sterling and U.S. dollars. Oh well. It’s money.

Not Received:
Hmm, I still haven’t gotten paid for “Li T’ien and the Demon Nian.” I wonder if the Cricket Magazine Chicago move knocked my check into a crack somewhere . . . Query time?

New Words:
800 on “Honor is a Game Mortals Play.” I’m at zero draft. Woo! “The End” – two of the most satisfying words a writer can type.

The epilogue turned into a whole ‘nuther scene and became the denouement. Um, oops. But it’s done. Done done done! Considering that I finished it at 6AM this morning–the staying up all night 6AM, not the waking up at dawn 6AM–I suspect that a great deal of ruthless editing is in order. At least I hope so. I’d like to cull at least a couple hundred words. dsnight assured me there was wiggle room, but that’s no excuse for sloppy writing. The plan is to do a few editing passes, foist it upon fosteronfilm to first reader, and then load it up to Critters to go up next week.

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
6,877 / 6,000
(114.6%)

Club 100 For Writers
      3

500/day
      7

Roaches and truffles

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28 Comments

Life is like a box of choklits . . .

AM confection: coconut crusted cricket crunch–or possibly a roach that crawled into the box.

In the shower my brain bubbled over with ideas for the WiP. So distracted was I that I couldn’t remember whether I’d brushed my teeth or not. Just-in-case brushing commenced. Dry and dressed (with minty-fresh teeth), I ran to my laptop . . . only to find that my inspiration seemed to have followed the toothpaste suds down the drain.

I tapped out a few halfhearted lines, and pondered how to waterproof my laptop.

Suddenly, my Outlook calender chimed, informing me that I had a follow-up appointment with my Pdoc . . . that I’m late for. Leaped into the car, sped down 400 and 285, sprint panting to the reception desk . . . and discover that my appointment was canceled. In January. Seems my Pdoc no longer has office hours on Wednesdays. However, my HMO had not deemed it necessary to alert me of that fact.

Now I ask you, does it seem clever to aggravate someone whom you know requires the services of a psychiatrist? Luckily for them, I restrained my urge to enter the ranks of psycho-killer and thereby earn the moniker “The Sporker.”

Drove back home, sat down to write, and realized I couldn’t remember if I took my Imuran. Unlike with dental hygiene, possible duplication is a Bad Thing. At which point, I was sorely tempted to crawl back into bed and call the day a complete loss.

PM sweet: Raspberry filled chocolate truffle, hand-dipped in heavy cream ganache

Fortunately, things Got Better.

The doorbell rang announcing a package. It’s surprise prezzies from britzkrieg! Amazon.com wishlist goodies: Ancient Egyptian Magic–an Egyptian sourcebook, at last!–and The Gathering of Spirits, by Carrie Newcomer–excellent music for the writing of folktales.

Thanks, Brit! You’re the absolute bestest!

   


Writing Stuff:
French chocolate lace, English toffee, vanilla caramel, and a gumball

Next up, I got word that Ellen Datlow is giving “The Bunny of Vengeance and the Bear of Death” an Honorable Mention in next year’s Best Fantasy and Horror. Squee! That’s one step closer to actually having a story there.

And also, it seems (via jaylake and nihilistic_kid) that the cat is now bagfree. *insert fanfare and trumpets* Herein the Best New Fantasy: 2005 Table of Contents:

1 “My Father’s Mask,” Joe Hill (20th Century Ghosts),
2 “Pip and the Fairies,” Theodora Goss (Strange Horizons),
3 “The Language of Moths,” Christopher Barzak (Realms of Fantasy),
4 “At the End of the Hall,” Nick Mamatas (Fantasy Magazine),
5 “Heads Down, Thumbs Up,” Gavin Grant (scifiction),
6 “Monster,” Kelly Link (Noisy Outlaws),
7 “The Dybbuk in Love,” Sonya Taaffe (The Dybbuk in Love),
8 “Gulls,” Tim Pratt, (Polyphony 5),
9 “Summer Ice,” Holly Phillips (In the Palace of Repose),
10 “The Maiden Tree,” Catherynne M. Valente (Cabinet des Fees),
11 “The Farmer’s Cat,” Jeff VanderMeer (Polyphony 5)
12 “A Little Madness Goes a Long Way,” M. Rickert (F&SF),
13 “Proboscis,” Laird Barron (F&SF),
14 “Dancing in the Light of Giants,” Jay Lake (Realms of Fantasy),
15 “Eating Hearts,” Yoon Ha Lee, (The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction),
16 “Returning My Sister’s Face,” Eugie Foster (Realms of Fantasy).

Is that a luscious line-up or what (if I do say so myself)?

Received:
Contract from Oceans of the Mind for “The Few, the Proud, the Leech Corps.”

New Words: 500 on “Honor is a Game Mortals Play.” And it ought to be done. But it’s not. It needs an epilogue. Urg. I hope that 6K maximum has some wiggle room.

Zokutou word meter
6,067 / 6,000
(101.1%)

Club 100 For Writers
      2

500/day
      6

Rubáiyát of . . . Eugie

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5 Comments

Laptop is, once again, re-loaded with only one casualty: a CD-RW (oops). Since all my backup files are stranded on the machine that has a defunct network card, I decided “hey, I’ll save resources by using a re-writable disc to transfer them” and then forgot that there’s a different burn process for CD-RWs versus CD-Rs. So yeah, we have another (expensive) new coaster.

I ended up burning my data onto CD-Rs. My intentions were good; I just don’t get along well with hardware thingies. Snartleblast.

The library is a mess of cords, stray peripherals, and books that have been re-stacked so I could reach the electric outlets behind the bookshelf, but I’m so relieved to have the stupid machine back. It undoubtedly won’t last. I’m just waiting for the dreaded *pop zzzt* of my laptop turning itself off, but until then, I’m good.

See how easy it is to make me happy?

Here with a working notebook on my lap,
Tapping keys, a word processor–and WiFi
Checking email on the Internet–
And the Internet is Paradise enow.

(With apologies to Omar Khayyám.)

   


Writing Stuff

Check out this nifty toy via ballsandwalnuts: The Grazulis Cut-Up Machine. It’s a little tool, a la William S. Burroughs, that chops up sentences and rearranges them to come up with a more spontaneous presentation to help jostle stagnant prose into a fresher configuration. Doug explains it better in his post.

Editing/New Words: A pair of editing passes and a net gain of 350 or so words on “Honor is a Game Mortals Play.” Yes, I need my laptop in order to be able to write. (And y’all think I’m adaptable?) Very, very close to the end. My goal is to have it in the Critters queue next week. I didn’t want to stop last night, but it was 3AM and the screen was beginning to blur. I hope what I wrote is as good as I thought it was when I was half-delirious and bleary. That’s probably unlikely . . .

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
5,595 / 6,000
(93.3%)

Club 100 For Writers
      1
@#$^&!#*&!!

500/day
      5

Johari thing

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22 Comments

Happy Valentines Day to those of you who celebrate/languish over/otherwise acknowledge it.

HP sent my laptop back after we called and harangued them yesterday. They “replaced a gasket.” Any bets on whether they’ve actually fixed it? But it’s here now, and so I am dutifully re-loading it.

Ergo: the Johari thing that’s making the blog rounds: “A model for mapping personality awareness. By describing yourself from a fixed list of adjectives, then asking your friends and colleagues to describe you from the same list, a grid of overlap and difference can be built up.”

There aren’t enough adjectives, and they’re skewed positively, but the psychologist (and narcissist) in me is clamoring to participate. So, do you see me as I see me?

Things that make me giggle and grin

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My posts have been full of gloom and grump of late, so I wanted to make a post of airy lightness and fluffy skunks. And then my network card belly-uped, so I can no longer access the Internet on the computer upstairs, Hobkin sicked up his lunch, and HP still hasn’t shipped back my laptop.

*gurgle* Calmblueocean. Calmblueocean!

I could really use some humor. Fortunately, my flist/reading list is chock full of excellent writers, Hobkin, though ill is still undeniably cute, and the AP occasionally throws me a bone.

The bone(r): Dick Cheney Shoots Fellow Hunter. Yup. Our country’s esteemed VP went quail shooting and shot a lawyer. Nope, it’s not an Onion article. This is legit.

Okay, that giggle fix was unmitigated schadenfreude. Bad me. (*snerk*) For something completely different (and wholesome), skunk pictures:


Blah . . .

Continue reading →

Lamenting the Egregiously Americentric Media

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19 Comments

Gah! I shouldn’t be shocked or surprised when our media provides yet another example of appallingly Americentric coverage, but I am. First there was the Greek bank strike, a bit of information I discovered only because I had to contend with a returned check fee from Greece, but now it seems that our media does not deem the Basque country’s efforts to secede from Spain as worthy of coverage. Instead, we get Michelle Kwan’s groin injury. Major sociopolitical upheaval in Europe, or pulled groin muscle . . . I can see the importance o’reporting scales wobbling there.

When I happen to catch snippets like these, I have to wonder what other huge chunks of global news I’m missing out on.

   


Writing Stuff

Received:
– 120-day “sincerely regret that we’re unable to accept it” from my Cricket editor. Encouraging comments as ever, but a “no” is still a “no.” Pook. She did, however, mention my blog, and put in a request for more Hobkin pix. As I am never one to deny an editorial behest:


Hobkin, curled up on fosteronfilm‘s lap, being a Daddy’s skunk.

Pink Panther and Hobkin’s better

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fosteronfilm went to see an advance screening of the new Pink Panther movie last night. I was planning on seeing it with him, but Hobkin sicked up his lunch yesterday, which made three meals in a row that he hadn’t held down, so I decided to stay home and see how he did with dinner.

Matthew gave the movie two reels in his Fosteronfilm review so I’m not all that disappointed to have missed it. (PSA/plug: fosteronfilm has begun doing giveaways of our spare advance screening tickets from his fosteronfilm.com site. Obviously, this is only of interest to locals, but if you’re in the Atlanta area, there are freebies to be had.)

Hobkin’s dinner went over (and stayed down) well. After a bit of minor post-meal chaos–mostly miscellaneous stomping and sporadic digging–Hobkin settled in my lap, fell asleep, and pinned me in my chair all night. I think he’s feeling better.

The prognosis on my back is less positive. My spine feels like one fused plank. Ow.

   


Writing Stuff

I did indeed sit on my muse (probably not what the doctor recommends for an unhappy back). Alas, the only thing I got out of her was a muffled “more weight.”

Just what I need, a cheeky muse.

Hence, I embarked upon much joyous cat-waxing. I went through my list of recently published works and picked a couple to send out to foreign markets for reprint consideration. I especially like submitting reprints this way ’cause I can sim sub like crazy as there’re no rights conflicts to fret about. Foreign markets buy their translation in their language, easy-schmeasy. It feels like such a luxury compared to the strict one-market-exclusive-consideration-no-matter-how-long-their-RL-is standard for first publication consideration. Sure, there are markets that will consider sim subs, but they’re few and far between, and it doesn’t do a sneeze worth of good if one market will look at sim subs but the other one you want to send it to won’t. It’s so not a writers’ market out there.

Received:
– Contract from Galaktika for the Hungarian reprint of “All in My Mind.”
– 2-day “very well written, but isn’t really a Baen’s Universe story” personal rejection from Baen’s Universe with lots of encouragement, an invite to submit again, and a better idea of what they’re looking for (more action).
– 30-day (!) rejection from GVG (!) of F&SF. Wowza. This is, by far, the longest response time I’ve ever had from F&SF. I thought for sure the ms had been eaten by the USPS. My perception of the world-as-I-know-it has been rocked.

New Words: 100 on “Honor is a Game Mortals Play.”
The end was so clear to me last week, so close I could almost taste it. But now I’m spinning my wheels. Wah!

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
5,240 / 6,000
(87.3%)

Club 100 For Writers
      2

Things that aren’t working: Hobkin’s tummy, my back, HP

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16 Comments

Hobkin isn’t feeling well. Last night he sicked up his dinner as well as his midnight snack of (we’d hoped) tummy-settling bread and bok choy. I continue to be inordinately grateful that the little guy seems disinclined to be sick either on me, the carpet, or the furniture.

He was curled up with me on the couch, and when he realized dinner was going to make an urgent reappearance, he sprang up, scrambled off the couch, and made a mad dash into the kitchen. He didn’t quite make his area with its linoleum floor–and thereby didn’t execute another head-in-litter-box miracle–but the hard wood kitchen floor is leaps and bounds better than the living room carpet. And after his first bout, he wobbled his way into his area for his second. The poor lil guy! It always makes me feel so helpless and anxious when he’s sick. And we still have no idea what sets off these tender tummy episodes.

At least we’ve got a treatment worked out. The vet prescribes us this amazing anti-nausea stuff (which thankfully the fuzzwit loves the taste of), and Hobkin also gets mint sandwiches (bits of bread soaked in Pepto Bismol) which, in combination, fix him right up, usually within 24 hours. And as far as psychological effects go, having a queasy GI tract doesn’t seem to particularly faze him. Just a half minute after his sick-up, he was energetic and begging us for a snack to replace his lost dinner. Silly, worrisome beastie.

He crawled up to snuggle with me after all the excitement and seemed happy to bask in the extra attention as I fussed over and cuddled him.

My back continues to malfunction. I took two Tramadol yesterday, which is pretty astonishing because usually one lays me out flat. This time, one only took the edge off–didn’t even make me sleepy. Makes me wonder if it’s the pain overwhelming the med, or the Adderall keeping me awake.

According to the status info on the HP website, my laptop hasn’t shipped yet, even though the expected date was yesterday. So not a surprise. Our case manager mentioned it would take longer than their promised 3-day turnaround because they need to do fairly in-depth tests on it this time. (*snort*) I suppose we should have asked how much longer.

   


Writing Stuff

New Words: 500 on the Japanese Demon Hunter story, now tentatively titled: “Honor is a Game Mortals Play.” Into the climax and I’m dithering over where I want to go with it. No, scratch that. I know where I want to go with it, but I’m dithering over how to get there. Going to lasso and sit on my muse today and see if that doesn’t get her cooperative-like.

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
5,111 / 6,000
(85.2%)

Club 100 For Writers
      1
I’m pretty sure I missed at least one day in there . . .

500/day
      4

Pausing for a quick update

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dude_the flew back to Illinois yesterday. fosteronfilm and I are settling back into our normal, daily routines. Actually, “routine” for me is more like frantically trying to catch up on all the things that piled up between Utah and the Superbowl. *gurgle*

I also managed to wrench my back. Probably “wrench” is the wrong word. It’s more like I put too much strain on it over a prolonged period of time and now it refuses to bend without sending jagged pain through me. I need a new human suit; this one doesn’t work right anymore.

   


Writing Stuff

Emailed a query to Here & Now since I still haven’t received either my contrib. copies of issue 7 or payment.

Spent most of the morning doing Tangent work, publishing reviews and answering correspondences. I think I’m mostly caught up on that front now. Although there’s still the strange email submission I received that appears to be (and I’m being charitable here) some sort of disjointed, narrative-free flash fiction or perhaps a rambling stream-of-consciousness note from someone suffering from dementia. Huh. Informing someone with an obviously poorly considered marketing strategy that Tangent is not a fiction publication is rather low on the list of items that need my attention.

Next up, The Town Drunk work. Once more into the breach! *limp*

Received:
– 1-day “exceptionally well written story that, unfortunately, is not for us” from Baen’s Universe with a “We definitely would like to hear from you again.” You betcha they’re going to be hearing from me again!
– 56-day SALE of “Fade to Black” to Greek-language ‘zine Ennea. Amusingly, this story hasn’t been published in English yet, so its first publication will be in a language I can’t read.