Category Archives: Blog

Went back to work today. Still feeling rather fragile. I think going cold turkey on both the caffeine and the Clonazepam at the same time was probably a questionable executive decision on my part. Perhaps ironically, it’s the caffeine’s absence that I’m feeling most acutely. I got a lot of clarity back when I went off the Clonazepam. Lost it when I went off the java. But I assume that’s temporary and will lift when the withdrawal headache/fatigue does. My head feels like it’s been mushed over by a steamroller.

I don’t plan for this abstemious phase to be permanent. I still want to take the Clonazepam since I tolerate it reasonably well and it works on my TOS. And I like caffeine too much to just give up. But I’m tired of being dependant on either. So I’m giving them up for a couple weeks to reset my tolerance levels. Again, probably not the smartest thing I’ve ever done to quit both at the same time.

Ouch.

Did a couple more passes on the Horror story. Matthew’s reluctant to first-reader it because I told him what my inspiration was. He’ll still do it, but I’m going to have to poke and prod him to it.

It’s interesting; his squick factor is so much lower than mine when it comes to reading gore and blood, but it’s so much higher when it comes to watching it on the big screen. Or even the not-so-big screen. He refers to “Wintergod,” the story I sold to The Quiet Ward as the “yicky one.” Got another story he responds to that way that’s currently short-listed at an anthology I subbed it to. Apparently, gore appeals to some editors.

On one level I’m pleased to have been able to affect his emotions with my writing. After all, I think the hallmark of really excellent writing is something that gets the reader emotionally involved. On another level I’m dismayed that he’s so yucked-out by something I created. I’m the first to admit that these stories are graphic and blood-smeared, but I tend to think of Matthew as having a stronger stomach than me. After all, he can watch people being flayed alive (i.e. Hellraiser I, II, etc.) without flinching, while I go scampering out of the room with my hands over my ears, eyes averted. It took me three full viewings of Sixth Sense before I’d seen the whole thing through without shutting my eyes through parts of it. I am that much of a wimp.

So I guess I’m left with the question: Is writing fiction with content in it that makes grown men recoil a good thing?

Maybe I should write something fluffy next. With cute, fuzzy animals.

Woke up this morning feeling light-headed and woozy. Thought briefly about getting up, showering, and driving to work. Decided against it.

Going back to bed. But first:

Available for pre-order at Shocklines.com: Asylum Volume 3: The Quiet Ward! There’d be more jumping up and down and hurraying except I’m afraid my head would tumble off my shoulders if I did that. So, I’ll just quietly whisper a “yay.”

Just surfed to Publishers Weekly Online. The June 30 SF&F issue highlighted Phobos, including a pic of the cover art for Pixeltown.

Coolness.

Got an email from the editor of The Quiet Ward with a copy of the contract that will be snail mailing its way to me from the publisher for “The Reign of the Wintergod” as well an update on the publishing schedule. Cover art will be finalized this weekend, and the first edit is already at the typesetters.

The book is totally on track for coming out Horrorfind weekend. That’s in three weeks. Wow. Talk about hot presses!

Think there’s a low pressure front moving through or something. Matthew woke me up this morning thrashing around in the throes of one of his migraines, and my head feels like someone’s compressing it in a vise. Although at least it’s not a super-sized, industrial vise, as these things go.

Matthew’s migraine meds are kicking in and he’s finally drifting off to sleep, but I’m not sure what analgesic to take that won’t do scary things combined with my Methotrexate, so I’m just having some coffee to let the caffeine do its brainy vascular goodness. And I’m taking a sick day.

In better news, either due to meditating on writing before bedtime, or not taking my clonazepam, or the synergistic effect of both, yesterday I finished my zero draft of the horror story I’ve been writing. 2000 more words, fork stuck in. Woo!

to william_mize for reminding me that my brain is a powerful instrument of which processes I am in control of, not the other way around.

Actually, I don’t think it’s quite at zero draft stage, but the story’s down from beginning to end, and I stamped the all important words “The End” on it. I’m going to do a few more passes over it before showing it to Matthew–after I figure out a way to get the vise constricting my head off–and then I’m tossing it up to Critters.org for the masses to pick apart. This one gets an advisory warning in front of it for gore. Surprisingly, when I’ve posted warnings like that before, it hasn’t decreased the number of crits I’ve gotten. I sometimes wonder if that sort of warning intrigues people rather than frightening them away.

Owie owie owie. My head hurts more than my arms do! But I wrote. Yep. I suffer for my art. Literally.

Stupid physiology.

I tried doing william_mize‘s writing meditation suggestion last night to try to free up a little word count processing. It seems to have resulted in two very disparate outcomes.

Thanks to dude_the for the link!

Clicky-click: The Effects of Peanut Butter on the Rotation of the Earth

Words written: 200 Every single letter ripped screaming and kicking from my bleeding fingertips.

Why. Won’t. Words. Come? ARGH!

I think it’s time to invoke the caffeine gods to slap around my muse.

In better news, the editor of The Quiet Ward sent an email out to all the accepted contributors. The anthology is still on track for debuting at Horrorfind Weekend in August. He asked for a bio, and said the publisher will be sending out contracts right soon. Rah!

I was curious (and totally unable to produce word countage) so I did a little tally to see what my breakdown was in sales by genre category. It’s split right down the middle, err tri-section. One third of my sales are Science Fiction, one third Fantasy, and one third Horror, with a dangling Erotic Horror story to keep things interesting.

Neat.

Another pro-market bites it. And this one was a children’s lit market. Saw on Ralan.com that Just Weird Enough lost its funding before its first issue even got printed. Guess I can cross that one off my submit-to list.

Damn. There aren’t enough children’s lit markets out there. Now with both Just Weird Enough folding and Spellbound going on hiatus, the market possibilities have shrunk even more. Damn.

Spent the day with dire_Epiphany, her hubby, and son, watching all the Firefly episodes that Fox aired in their proper order. dire_epiphany made food! Lasagna and fruit salad and salad. Yummy! And they brought ice tea and even plates and silverware! All we had to do was dig in. Wonderful food, excellent company, and great entertainment. What better way to spend a day?

And I really want to slap around the Fox execs. Not only for canceling the show, but for putting the ones they did deign to show out of order. Ffft. But there’s serious talk of a Firefly movie to wrap up all the loose ends. Crossed fingers and hoping that’ll come together.

On top of that, I managed to crank out 1K on a new horror piece. Got this one outlined out, so I know where I want to take it. My main problem is the huge squick factor it’s got. It’s so squicky I feel like I have to distance myself in order to write it. But I want to tell this story. It’s inspired by real life events that are so awful that I want to write about them in order to get out the anger and horror I felt when I heard about it.

In a nutshell: we got a letter from the HSUS asking for more money, as we often do, but this one documented the truly chilling story of a pet dog in Texas that had been kidnapped from his own yard and then had his eyes gouged out. The dog was dumped and managed to find his way back home where his family discovered him, blinded and barely alive, on their porch. They rushed him to a vet and it looks like he’ll live. But they still haven’t found the person who did it.

The only good that came out of this was that because of what happened, with the help of the HSUS, the family lobbied to make such acts of extreme animal cruelty and abuse a felony in Texas. It hadn’t been before.