Quickie Update and More Novel Progress

Been wrestling with mood issues which I’m pretty sure are due to a formulary switch in my HMO which stopped including Adderall XR (extended release) in the list of covered meds, forcing me to switch to Adderall IR (instant release). The IR isn’t as effective at combating my lupus/MCTD related fatigue, and it’s also harder on my stomach. Been trying to offset the difference with caffeine with limited success. Slept for 12 hours on Saturday, which is very, very bad.

So logy, cranky, and melancholy is me—or else I’m entertaining three dwarves in my brain.

Apologies to folks who I’ve neglected and/or who are waiting on me for something. One of the coping mechanisms I’ve established when I’m drained and scraping bottom on the energy/motivation bucket is to withdraw and triage to-do items into “essential, life and death, red alert now!”—like paying bills and going to my day job—and “meh, what’s another hamster on my toe?” categories. Most things end up as the latter. Sigh.

   


Writing Stuff

Received:
• 54-day “lively and interesting but…” rejection from Strange Horizons with invite to submit again (!@%#%^ I’m never going to break into them, am I?)

New Words, uh, lessee, since last entry:
• Wednesday: 1,300
• Thursday: 600
• Friday+Weekend: 500
• Yesterday: 1,700

Total: 4.1K.

Racing to hit zero draft by the end of the year.

At least getting words on the page is great therapy. A productive day of writing makes the world brighter and shinier. Of course, the correlary is that a day of no writing just piles on the suckitude.

Help Vera!

Spreading the word:

Vera Nazarian (norilana) of Norilana Books is facing foreclosure due to a series of truly unfortunate events (a fraudulent lawsuit, mother’s illness, father’s death, and sub-prime mortgage fallout).

Vera is an amazing member of our little SF community, hard working, dedicated, and supportive—a true inspiration. So if you can help out, please visit the helpvera fundraiser and charity auction LJ community. Thus far, enough has been raised through helpvera to cover Vera’s back mortgage and late fees, but her house still needs costly sewer system repairs and her and her mother’s health are in bad straits.

   


Writing Stuff

New Words:
• 750 on The Stupid Novel, and I’m over 40K! Although it’s still a ways from zero draft, it’s a relief to pass that little milestone.

Terracotta Warriors, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, and My Mandarin

Had a weekend of Chinese culture exploration and examination. fosteronfilm and I went to see the High Museum of Art’s “The First Emperor: China’s Terracotta Army” exhibit on Saturday. It was awe inspiringly impressive, and it makes me want to write a terracotta warrior story now.

I was hoping to snap a few surreptitious pictures on my cell phone, but the museum security were vigilant-unto-fanatic in their monitoring. I saw them stop several people who had their cell phones/i-Phones and Blackberrys out, admonishing them that no electronic devices of any sort were allowed on the floor. So I figured I’d make do taking notes on paper. But I got no further than two short bullet points before a security guard “ahemed” me in order to inform me that no pens were allowed on the floor and gave me one of those stubby half-pencils with no eraser to take notes with.

To mollify my wing stub issues, I’m very picky about what writing implements I use. Ballpoint pens are out, for e.g., because they make my arms ache, and I never use regular wood pencils because of how much pressure it takes to write with them—not to mention the smudge factor. So Matthew was waiting for my apoplectic sputtering, but I ended up being more amused—in a grumpy way—than infuriated. So, yeah, the note-taking setup was less than ideal, and I took fewer notes than I might have otherwise, but the exhibit was pretty wow-some.

Still in a terracotta warrior mood, after we got home, we put on The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, which I wanted to see when it was in theaters, but the abysmal reviews ended up deterring me. I’m glad we waited.

It was shiny, with many ‘sploidy EFX, but the writing was cringingly bad. And the actress, Maria Bello, who was cast to replace Rachel Weisz, really wasn’t up to the task. Nearly every scene she was in, I found myself comparing her to Rachel Weisz, and she always came up short. But I like Michelle Yeoh in just about everything I’ve seen her in, and this was no exception. Also, Jet Li did a credible job as the big baddie.

I really wish they’d gotten someone better to write the screenplay, though. The family conflict and reconciliation scenes/subplot was utterly saccharine, trite, and gratuitous and should’ve been cut.

   


Writing Stuff

In an amusing confluence of timing, I spent a couple hours on Sunday recording me speaking around twenty words of Mandarin.

velourmane asked me to provide some pronunciation assistance to Diane Severson, who will be reading my story, “Daughter of Bótù,” for PodCastle. I was, of course, more than game, since I’m delighted that they want to get the pronunciation right*. But, as it turns out, Diane resides in Germany, I don’t have a Skype account, my cell phone doesn’t have an international calling plan (and I’m not sure it’s even capable of receiving overseas calls), and we no longer have a land line. So I suggested that I record an audio file of me reading the names/Mandarin terms in my story for Diane to upload.

‘Course, my audio setup is pretty primitive. The first time I tried recording, I got massive feedback through the mike and no sound otherwise recording. But fortunately, the second time, it worked. Still not sure how or why (hardware baffles me), but I was grateful for the spontaneous “healing.”

It took me a bit longer than I expected to put together a two-minute audio recording. But then I also ended up re-recording a number of times. I could hear as I was speaking them that I was pronouncing some of the words wrong, but it took me several trial-and-error attempts to figure out how to fix them since my mouth simply isn’t accustomed to shaping Mandarin—or anything else non-English for that matter.


*I did warn them that my Chinese is…bad, on par with a deaf howler monkey with a cold, and tends towards Shanghai dialect rather than Mandarin. I’m not a native speaker—certainly can’t hold a conversation in it—and my understanding of it is all back brain and restricted to extremely simple concepts, words, and sentences. But I still retain an ear for the tonal inflections from my childhood exposure to it—which we discovered, interestingly, that fosteronfilm doesn’t have. Matthew, who wasn’t exposed to any other language than English growing up, can’t hear some of the differences in pitch/tone in Chinese that I can. So I figured I could pull off the smattering of Mandarin terms in my story. But if there’s any grousing about the pronunciation, they should be directed at me.

Writerly Meme

I don’t do memes for the most part, but marshall-payne asked me about my writing stats and prodded me to do this one, so it’s all his fault. So for folks who wondered about the publishing industry and the ease of breaking into it (or lack thereoff), as seen through the lens of my experiences:

• Age when I decided I wanted to be a writer: 5ish, maybe 6.
• Age when I got my hands on a typewriter and taught myself to use it: 7, on my mom’s manual typewriter (although I didn’t learn how to touch type until I was 12).
• Age when I wrote my first short story: 9. It had something to do with magical horses and has been long lost in time’s passage.
• Age when I wrote my first novel: N/A (sigh)
• Age when I first submitted a short story to a magazine: 28
• Number of rejections prior to first story sale: 22 (but there were 68 rejections and a year between my first and second sale).
• Lifetime number of rejections: 700ish
• Age when I sold my first short story: 30
• Age now: 37
• Age when the money coming in exceeded my statutory employment: Hah. Not even close.
• Number of sales: 122 (which includes 30 stories in anthologies, 41 in print magazines, 38 reprints, 2 chapbooks, and 1 short story collection).
• Number of short stories sold: almost 100.
• Number of titles in print: Brain go ‘sploidy. Too much math and other variables to calculate.
• Number of titles in production or pre-production: 1 collection, 6 stories in anthologies, and 7 stories in magazines.

(Note: I deleted the questions in this meme which weren’t applicable.)

T-day Weekend in Review

Hope all who celebrate it had a fabu Thanksgiving!

Not much accomplished over the four-day holiday at Chez Foster. fosteronfilm had a cold/sinus malaise and Hobkin had an upset tummy, which resulted in me not doing much in general aside from comforting and playing nurse to both.

Whenever Hobkin’s sick or scared, he demands to be cuddled against my chest, with his head wedged beneath my chin, rather than just curling up at my side or in my lap. I think he finds the sound of my heartbeat soothing, and skunks in general (or perhaps it’s only Hobkin), seem to find being pressed between/against something comforting. Maybe since they live in borrows underground in the wild, pressed in hole=safe.

So I spent a good portion of the last four days propped on the couch with eight pounds of snoring fuzziness flopped on my chest, trying to balance my laptop on my stomach so I could get some work done. And those were the times when Hobkin was snoozing flat instead of lolling to one side, requiring me to use an arm to balance him in place—else he’d roll right off in his sleep and blame me for it (yes, that’s happened before)—and thereby forcing me to type one-handed. It’s hard enough typing using both hands with a skunk lying on me; I can’t see over him, so if I lose the home keys, if I can’t find them again by touch, I’m pretty much plum out of luck.

A couple of times, Hobkin flopped on Matthew instead of me, and I couldn’t resist taking a picture of my two ailing boys (with my grainy, less-than-one-pixel-lame cell phone camera, alas):

I feel sort of remiss that I didn’t post a “Things I am Thankful For” Thanksgiving day post, as has been my tradition, but the day itself sort of slipped by me. Like last year, health issues conspired to make the holiday low key—although this year they weren’t mine but Matthew and Hobkin’s. But I think it’s good to remind myself that I have much to be thankful for. So herein my belated “Things I am Thankful For” list; it’s essentially a reprise of my 2006 list, but I am no less thankful two years later:

1. For my husband, Matthew, my best friend, love of my life, and soul mate. He cherishes me as I am, even with all my flaws and foibles. I am stronger because of his support and better because of his example.
2. For Hobkin, for making our house a home and reminding me that dignity is overrated, especially compared to laughter.
3. For family and friends: near, far, offline, and on.
4. For my health. Even as crappy as it is, it could be and has been much worse. And despite all the rips and worn spots in my human suit, it works well enough to keep me going—which is more than many people are able to say.
5. That I have the freedom and ability to chase my bliss and tell the stories that fill my days with magic.
6. For my beautiful home—my whimsy-filled sanctuary where unseen fey folk mysteriously turn on and off the lights and occasionally swipe and hide inexplicable items.
7. That I am not hungry or cold.
8. That I believe in and love myself.
9. For my day job, because it is an incredible blessing that I love what I do and not only don’t begrudge the hours I spend at the office but am glad of them.

   


Writing Stuff

New Words:
• 300 on The Stupid Novel.

Sale to Bards and Sages Quarterly: “Gifts Not Asked For”

   


Writing Stuff

New Words:
• 700 on The Stupid Novel.

The spreadsheet informs me that I’m around 800 words away from the ever-so-elusive 40K. It needs to be longer than that, since the story won’t be finished in 800 words—I’m thinking maybe another 10K—but 40K has been a huge ole wall that I haven’t been able to get past before. And I’m actually beginning to believe I will this time. Ooo.

Received:
• 3-day pass from PodCastle on a reprint with invite to submit again.
• 11-day cordial pass from Beneath Ceaseless Skies, ditto invite to submit again.
• 5-day sale of “Gifts Not Asked For” to Bards and Sages Quarterly.

They’re going to serialize it in five parts, starting with their April ’09 issue. I’ve never had a story serialized before (although I do have a two-parter slated for publication in a couple forthcoming and yet-to-be-announced issues of Cricket), and I hadn’t originally written this story to be a serial. But as I was perusing the B&SQ guidelines—which indicate that they’re only looking for fiction 1.5K words or less—I saw that they were also interested in serials, with each part around that 1.5K-word mark. And I remembered that “Gifts” is broken into four or five distinct scenes of about that length. Quick tweak to change the scene breaks to part breaks, and voila, five-part story ready to be serialized. Shiny serendipity.

State of the Human Suit

Had a follow-up with my rheumatologist. He’s not only the best specialist I’ve ever had, but the best doctor, period. He pulled me out of a miserable, two-month long flare-up (my doctors back in Illinois were well-meaning but inept) going on four years ago and has kept my lupus/MCTD stable ever since. And he’s the only doctor (and I routinely see quite a few) who actually remembers anything about me or my condition*.

He always inquires about my writing, sometimes asks after Hobkin, and is generally interested and engaging. He’s also got an incredibly appealing bedside manner—stern in a grandfatherly sort of way—and has a charming Italian accent. And I actually believe he cares about my health; when I first saw him, he scolded me for not seeing a rheumatologist before for my lupus (I mentioned the ineptitude of my previous doctors, didn’t I?).

He’s also the reason I haven’t wanted to switch to a different HMO despite the fact that it’s the most expensive HMO option offered and some egregiously terrible experiences—bordering on (possibly crossing into) malpractice terrible—not to mention the general bungling, incompetence, and inability to provide basic customer service I’ve suffered at the hands of my HMO. But it seems that the state is making that decision for me. Due to budget issues, my place of work is dropping my current HMO as a benefit option, so come 2010, I’m going to have to switch.

When I first heard about this, I was appalled. My rheumatologist is specific to the particular HMO I’m currently with, so I won’t be able to keep seeing him. But, after our follow-up on Friday, I’m a little less dismayed. Not ’cause I like him any less or anything, but ’cause he said that “I’ve graduated” (his words, hee!) and don’t need to see him as often since I’ve been stable and flare-up free for so long. He suggested we decrease the frequency of our follow-up appointments down to once a year—with, of course, a stern admonition to call him immediately if I start evidencing any signs of a flare-up. And then he teased me about missing him.

Although y’know, I actually will miss him, ’cause I rather enjoy our visits.

But with me only seeing him once a year—and the fact that, at best, I won’t mind replacing my other doctors, at worst, I’ll be glad to swap them for another one since I can’t imagine their replacements being much worse—it’s less distressing.

Still, I remain miffed that I don’t get a say in this matter. ‘Cause in the end, I find any amount of aggravation and incompetence from the rest of my HMO to be a fair trade for seeing my rheumatologist. So even though I can contemplate this mandatory service provider switchover somewhat philosophically, I remain very unhappy that I have to give him up come 2010.


*My p-doc still thinks I have ADD even though I remind her every single time I see her that I’m taking Adderall to combat lupus/MCTD-related fatigue, not to treat ADD. Not to mention that I have no (and have never had any) symptoms of ADD and have never been tested for or diagnosed with ADD. Not impressive. I’d be raring to switch p-docs and would have way before now, except that pretty much all she is to me is a signature on a ‘scrip, so it doesn’t really matter to me how incapable she is as a doctor.

   


Writing Stuff

Writing accomplished this weekend: none. Glargh. Move along, folks. Nothing to see here. Sigh.

End of an Aeon

Received an email from Bridget McKenna that Aeon is ceasing publication. It’s a great shame, as I’ve found their fiction offerings to be pretty consistently superb. And on a personal front, they have a story of mine, “Black Swan, White Swan,” which was slated for publication in their next issue.

But at least there’s a silver lining there. The Aeon editors plan to publish a print anthology in 2009, End of an Aeon, which will feature the unpublished stories they currently have in inventory.

This is the second sale for me this year that has been nixed (although, certainly, having “Black Swan, White Swan” appearing in an anthology isn’t technically a “nix”) due to a market folding or a previously green-lit project being given the axe.

I seem to remember hearing that the publishing industry, along with the film biz, has traditionally been considered (relatively) recession proof—the argument being that even when finances are tight, people still need entertainment. But I’ve been hearing through the grapevine, directly and indirectly—as well as being impacted personally—of publishers feeling the pinch of the deteriorating economy: that it’s making them pull back on their lines, limit the number of new titles and new authors being taken on, and other worrying behavior. So it seems pretty clear to me that the current economic straits are being felt by the publishing industry, undoubtedly more so by the small/independent press/magazine folks, but also by the major players.

Very depressing it is.

Cover Mock-up of Returning My Sister’s Face

I woke up this morning before my alarm went off with Hobkin a warm, fuzzy lump curled up at my shoulder and fosteronfilm a warm, less-fuzzy lump beside me. I lay in the pre-dawn darkness listening to them breathe, amused that at first I couldn’t tell which breath-sound belonged to husband and which to skunk. Eventually, I determined that Matthew’s breathing was the deeper, slower of the two and Hobkin’s breathing had a little snuffle-hitch at the end of each exhalation—plus he was closer to my ear. It was very peaceful.

‘Course then my alarm went off, and I had to emerge from the toasty covers and into the frigid air. But I’ve managed to keep a bit of the early AM tranquility with me—which is fortunate, ’cause holy Jeebus is it cold outside!

   


Writing Stuff

Received the cover mock-up for the ARC of Returning My Sister’s Face from Norilana, and omigod it’s fabulous. Shiny, shiny cover:

The ARC is off to the printers, and I’ve been compiling a list of places to pass along to Vera as suggestions to send it to. Feels kinda weird to find myself in the opposite role than my usual one of review material recipient (for The Fix).