Category Archives: LJ

Matthew put together an amazing meal last night. The faux meatloaf was luscious, especially topped with mushroom ‘n onion gravy. Mmmm. And there are leftovers to nibble, as there rightly should be after a great feast.

And now it’s the official beginning of Christmas–shopping frenzy to commence. We got the tree and most of the decorations up yesterday. But my energy level petered out earlier than it usually does. I blame my yearning-to-be-free lungs. And, of course, putting up the Christmas decorations is a family activity, so when I flopped over, Matthew stopped too. But we got most of it up and it’s very festive. Seeing the house all lit up with fairy lights and evergreen boughs makes my heart all warm and fuzzy.

Christmas is my favorite holiday. It didn’t used to be. In fact, it was on my list of things to dread during my whole childhood and adolescence. It wasn’t until I met Matthew that I, grudgingly, re-evaluated its status as darkness-upon-my-soul.

My mother didn’t really get Christmas, having grown up in a culture that doesn’t do much with it. And there wasn’t extended family to spend it with, so Christmas was typically a drab, lonely, disappointing affair. And then when I hit high school, it just got worse. Christmas was a time of loneliness and isolation, stark against other people’s joy. I hated it and it always made me depressed.

But now, now I love it. Matthew and his family have these charming holiday traditions that are just, well, charming. A big part of it, of course, is that I really love Matthew’s family. Growing up, I didn’t have anything resembling a supportive family base. My father left us when I was three, and my mother is insane. I don’t talk to her anymore, aside from an email once or twice a year. She now lives in Hong Kong and the other side of the world is just about the right distance for us to co-exist peacefully. But Matthew’s family fills a void that I didn’t even know I had until they stepped into it. I look to them for the sort of validation that I knew, growing up, I needn’t bother going to my mother for. They’re the first people I tell–after Matthew–when I’ve made a sale. I didn’t even know I craved that sort of unqualified love and support until I realized how much it mattered to me when they told me how proud they were of me and my accomplishments.

They’re good people, my in-laws.

Hurray for the beginning of Christmas.

Thanksgiving isn’t a big holiday for us. In the past, we’ve occasionally had friends over and done a bit of a vegetarian meal, but for the most part, we’ve just stayed home, maybe put together some pasta, and watched movies. But this year, Matthew bought the fixings for a complete Thanksgiving dinner. A huge faux meatloaf, cranberry sauce, and mashed potatoes with mushroom ‘n onion gravy. Yummy. It’s interesting. I remember when I first became a vegetarian how hard it was to find textured vegetable protein products, and now it’s everywhere: faux hot dogs, veggie burgers, tofurky, veggie cold cuts, faux fish fillets. Hurray!

In other news, my lungs continue to try to exit my body through my throat. How fun. And my early morning insomnia has reappeared. Probably due to my weird sleep habits from being sick. Maybe I’ll crack open the ole laptop and try to crank out another couple thousand words–put my early AM alertness to some use.

14K into the novel. Forging ahead. Rah. And the S&S story rewrite is complete and it’s out. Ended up with exactly twenty critiques, which surprised me. By Saturday, I was only at six, and I expected this to be a thin week. But a slew of them came pouring in yesterday and Tuesday.

Again, surprising me, the overall consensus from my readers was extremely positive–including a veritably glowing one from one of my regulars whose opinion I always find invaluable. Go fig. Well, good. Hope the editors agree with them.

Buffy on Tuesday: I liked it. But they didn’t reveal the conclusion of the cliffhanger moment with Giles from last week. Giiiiles! Eep. And again, I find myself saying, as I have episode after episode this season: “Poor Spike!”

29 critiques on Critters last week for my catharsis story. Goodness. Usually I expect around twenty. But the re-write’s done, and it’s out the door. Got a really good suggestion from a semi-regular critiquer. Love it when I get such excellent advice.

My S&S story is currently up now. Only four crits so far, but it’s only Thursday. I’m very dissatisfied with that one. I think it’s in the roughest shape of anything I’ve ever thrown to the masses. The prose in the beginning is pretty labored. A substantial overhaul will be necessary. Interesting to see what will come out after I get all the feedback in. Surprisingly, it’s gotten a fairly positive reception so far. But then again, it’s still early in the week.

And finally, drum-roll please, I’ve started on the novel. Really started on it and not just dicking around with it. Wow. 5000 words in. At this word count in a short story I’d be either winding it up, or at the very least well past the midpoint. And here I’m still only in the buildup and will be for a while yet. It’s a whole different world.

Okay, Matthew and I are members of the Humane Society of the United States (HSUS). Hurray. But they keep sending us these little “gifts” along with their “please give us more money” notes. In the last year, they’ve sent us: two personalized coffee mugs, a key-chain, a necklace, and an umbrella.

Now the question I have is: Is the money we’re sending them going to help animals, or fund these trinkets? I’m already displeased about money I give to charities being used for postage to ask for more money instead of to the cause I support, but if it’s also going to pay for these cheap little gee-haws, then I’m even less happy.

*grumble grumble grumble*

I’m still going to give HSUS money, ’cause I know they do good work, but I wish I knew whether these “gifts” were donated or if they actually spent money to buy them.

I’m on the mend. That bug really knocked me for a loop. I’m still a bit shaky, but I can walk around without getting lightheaded. That was weird.

I didn’t, however, let anything as trivial as a fever and headache get in the way of my writing. (Deadline! Deadline! Ping ping ping ping!) I finished the S&S piece I was working on at a ridiculous 9000 words. But, after running it by Matthew, I realized that I do not do my best writing when I’m faintly delirious. So, one re-write later and I’m down to 7500 words and I’ve cut out a whole character. It’s better. Still needs work, but it’s nearly in first draft shape.

The “catharsis” story I’ve got up at Critters right now has received 12 crits so far. Coolness. But I’m hearing repeatedly that readers are finding my ending unsatisfying. Damn damn damn. Will need to re-think it in my re-write. Did I mention “damn”?

Well, the cough did turn into a cold. Woke up this morning with flashing lights in my field of vision and feeling dizzy. Took some pills and went back to bed.

Now I’m all snoggy and headachy. And what’s worse, I appear to have given my cold to both Hobkin and Matthew.

Families are for sharing. Blargh.

Veteran’s day. USPS holiday. Sigh. I’m so mail-oriented.

6000 words into my S&S tale. But that’s real count. Manuscript count is over 7K. I’m kinda rattled at how long it’s become. Acht. I keep telling myself to just finish the damn thing, word length be damned, and then I can go back in and cut as needed. But once I reach this point, knowing how much I’ve got left (certainly over 1K, maybe even 2K), I get inhibited.

Stupid muse.

I liked Angel last night. I laughed much. It was nice, seeing Joss at work again. And then Connor entered. Agh. Went downhill from there in my estimation. And the whole Gunn/Fred relationship thing is now irritating me. What happened last episode should have strengthened their relationship, not weakened it, dammit.

But on a completely lascivious note, Alexis Denisof sure looked sexy. I like what they’ve turned Wesley into. Gives him a yummy edge. Rrrowwl.