Author Archives: Eugie Foster

Skunk trauma imminent

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This afternoon is Hobkin’s annual check-up at the vet’s where he gets his shots and yearly physical. Last time, they wouldn’t let me hold him when they went to draw blood, and actually took him out of the room for the procedure. They’re afraid of him biting me and then me suing them. As if. He’ll be less likely to nip anyone if I’m holding him, and I’d much rather he bit me than anyone else. And if he did bite me, of course I’m not going to sue them.

He screamed for me when they took him away. Now Hobkin doesn’t typically vocalize. Skunks are very quiet pets. He’ll occasionally huff if he’s miffed, and I can count on one hand how often he’s “roinked” in distress, so I’d never heard him scream before. He sounded like a parrot being tortured–shrill and loud. They brought him back to me, very unhappy and very scared, his whole front dripping wet from the isoprophyl alcohol they’d spritzed him down with in their unsuccessful efforts to jab him. He stopped screaming as soon as they handed him to me, and he consented to letting them both draw blood and poke him for his shot without a peep, although clinging to me with all his fuzzy might. Hobkin’s never trusted the vet again, not that he was overwhelmed with him before. I hope they remember this experience at his appointment and let me assist. My poor baby. At least his godmother will be there. If they won’t let me hold him, he might be okay if she does.

And . . . it begins. The first boxes of Dragon*Con Film Festival swag have started arriving. Several boxes of flip books for Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride are now sitting in our dining room. Sigh. I may as well say good bye to my dining room until September.


Writing Stuff

Found out via aimeepoynter that Ellen Datlow mentioned me in the 2004 Years Best Fantasy and Horror! Alas, it’s for my work as managing editor of Tangent and not for any of my fiction, but I’ll take what I can get. I shall continue to press my nose against the window of the writers who’ve gotten an honorable mention or *gasp* even been published in those hallowed tomes, but at least my name has appeared in one of them. It’s a start.

And, err, 14 crits this morning. Meep. I solemnly swear I will never again complain about a lack of lovin’ in the Critters queue!

New Words: 500
On the Korean folktale.

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500/day
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Guilt-trippin’ skunk

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I spent far too much time on this game: Planarity. It’s addictive in its simplicity and elegance. I knew it was time to stop when I still saw the lines and vertices when I closed my eyes. Glah.

Hobkin’s nails tore a hole in my sheet, at which point I realized it was time he had a trim. He hates having his nails trimmed, the poor lil guy, but I’ve got a system. I hold him down and clip, and he huffs at me. I’m the only one that can seem to manage it. If fosteronfilm tries to assist, he gets snapped at. I managed to get all of Hobkin’s front toes, but nicked the quick on the last one. He winced and wriggled and glared at me accusingly, at which point I felt so guilty that I immediately stopped and gave him a cookie. Yeah, my pet skunk guilt tripped me.


Writing Stuff

Got an email from the editor of the Sages and Sword anthology. He’d offered to pay me for my story earlier, prior to publication, but the contract had stipulated “on publication.” I thought he’d forgotten our correspondence and I shrugged it off, but he had remembered and wanted to make sure he honored his offer. He suggested I cross out the relevant line in the contract and replace it before sending it back. Unfortunately, I’d already mailed back the contract. (So I asked him to do the crossing out before sending me my copy for my records.) I’m quite impressed by the professionalism and class that displayed on his part–to make sure I got paid when he said I would. Not to mention I can really use the money sooner. Alas, I wish payment on acceptance rather than publication was the industry standard instead of the exception.

My folktale is up at Critters, and so far, no love. Zero. Hunh.

103-day form reject from Absolute Magnitude. I had a feeling this one was coming. Actually, I’m expecting another one today or tomorrow as I heard they were having a slush party last weekend and I’ve got another submission with them. On the matter of slush parties, DNA, as far as I can tell, enlists friends and assorted acquaintances to sort through their submissions, regardless of editorial experience, plying them with food and drink. I guess the philosophy is that anything that really grips your average reader and makes it up to the editor is worth having a look at, or maybe they only invite knowledgable readers to their slush parties. I dunno. But it does strike me as haphazard and inconsistent.
200-day pass from Neo-Opsis after making it to their second round with invite to submit again.

New Words: 300
On the Korean folktale.

Club 100 For Writers
43

First Sale Meme

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First Story Sale Meme, ganked from douglain:
Describe the first story you ever sold to any publication. What was the title of the story? The name of the publication? The plot? The public reception to your work?

My first story sale was “The Adventures of Manny the Mailmobile” to Cicada. It was also my first submission to the Cricket Magazine folks. The beginning of a beautiful relationship! It was also the first place that story had gone to, so in one fell swoop, I’d made my first fiction sale, my first professional sale, and my first one-hit sale. I think my neighbors might still be talking about the day that strange whooping noises issued from my roof. I was walking on clouds for weeks after I made that sale. Good thing too. It had to hold me over for a year before I made my next one.

It was published in the Jan/Feb 2002 issue, a light science fiction/mystery caper with the hero being a lovelorn mailmobile robot. Well, actually, to call it a mystery is probably doing a disservice to Hitchcock and Ellery Queen; the who-done-it part is pretty clearcut and there aren’t any red herrings. But my intention was to focus more on the lovelorn part than the mystery.

The story and mailmobile protag, Manny, were inspired from my days working as a teeny cog as a cubicle monkey for a really big corporation (before I moved to Atlanta). My ex-company had these automated mailmobiles, about the size of ponies, that were programmed to run set delivery routes. Secretaries and other clerical assistants would know when they were near by their, again programmed, beeps. They also had sensors so they (theoretically) knew not to run down pedestrians. I’ve never been hit by one, but I swear I’ve had them lunge at me a couple time while I was innocently walking the corridors, to and from meetings. During the early days of their introduction, there were some *ahem* learning curve issues. Like the time a mailmobile trapped someone behind a door. Its sensors told it not to move, but the person couldn’t get around it because they were blocked in on all sides, so the mailmobile just sat there, flashing and beeping. They had to call a tech person to come and rescue both of them. Then there was the time when a mailmobile accidentally entered a small conference room and then couldn’t figure out how to get out again–since it was too large to turn around. From first hand accounts, the process of moving it out was much like backing up a cow. Finally, there was also the brief hubbub when anonymous third shifters started putting stuffed animal heads on the mailmobiles and taping names like “Bessie” and “Matilda” to them. Personally, I think the mailmobiles should have been allowed to maintain their personas, but apparently upper management was without anything remotely like a sense of humor. Guess anthropomorphizing the mailmobiles was too whimsical for them to stomach. They removed the names and heads, and sent out a company-wide memo prohibiting people from “defacing” the mailmobiles. Spoil sports.

Kill joy management notwithstanding, I was so charmed by the antics of the slow-moving, quirky-yet-loyal mailmobiles, I had to write a tale featuring one. I’m still quite proud of that story. It’s been re-published in Greek (the Feb. 16, 2005 issue of 9), which also marks my first foreign language reprint sale. “Manny” was the first professional validation that I might actually have some ability at this whole writing thing, and it was the fulfillment of a childhood ambition: publication. And the fact that my first sale was to such an excellent and discriminating publication as Cicada still gives me a nice egoboo when I’m feeling discouraged.


Writing Stuff

Received the long-awaited contract for “The Wizard of Eternal Watch and the Keeper of Forever” (I think my longest title, evar) from Pitch-Black books for their Sages & Swords: Razor-edged Arcanum anthology. It prompted a bit off Googling, and I found the cover art that Storn Cook is doing for it. Sweet. I believe the anthology is scheduled for an April 2006 release.

Got the electronic proofs of “Second Daughter” from The Sword Review to approve. The editor said he’s aiming for it to go up next Monday.

Also published a review of the June 2005 issue of Realms of Fantasy to Tangent. Michael Bailey had this to say about “The Storyteller’s Wife”:

“Author Eugie Foster has consistently used words to craft vibrant mental images in past stories, and this tale is no exception. The story is replete with intense visuals . . . The author expertly builds tension early in the story . . . At its core, “The Storyteller’s Wife” is a love story, but the early elements that hint at suicide, and the sinister nature of the denizens of Faerie add a dark element that enriches the story.”

Overall a positive review, although he wasn’t as fond of the ending as the beginning.

New Words: 200
On a re-telling of a classic Korean folktale. This one has the potential to be a little darker than my usual. Not sure if I want to let it go that route, or tone it down. Haven’t decided on a target audience yet. Although, to tell the truth, I’m a bit hit-and-miss when it comes to targeting readers.

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Reprint Bookkeeping

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Writing Stuff

Received my check from The Sword Review for “Second Daughter.” Yay!

Also, I queried Nowa Fantastyka about the contract, payment, and contrib. copies of the issue “All in My Mind” was published in, and got an immediate response from the editor. There was a bookkeeping snafu, but all are en route, or soon will be. Whew.

Did a pair of editing passes on the Korean folktale after a bout of research on Eastern folktales and mythology. But I think my muse may be tuckered out. I wanted to start on another folktale, but nothing struck my fancy. Maybe this would be a good time to get back to work on the novel.

Club 100 For Writers
41

I like gin

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As celebration of recent productivity, fosteronfilm and I had gin and tonics last night. Then I fell asleep. I had one drink, and that was it. I’m an embarrassingly cheap drunk. It was yummy, though.


Writing Stuff

89-day “well-written and original . . .premise was intriguing . . . however” with invite to submit again from John O’Neill of Black Gate. Sigh. But another market just opened up which I think might be a better fit for this one.

Did a couple passes on the Korean folktale and it’s ready for Matthew to first reader. Been perusing Korean folklore, but got side-tracked by some Japanese tales. Then there was gin. Now I’m debating what I want to work on next, another folktale or picking up one of the many WIPs that are lying strewn like triage flotsam on my hard drive.

Club 100 For Writers
40

What day is it?

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Hobkin woke me up this morning out of a series of very disturbing dreams. He, of course, was not at all interested in the vagaries of my subconscious and was solely interested in being fed. But I still haven’t shaken off the sleep fog. Couldn’t even remember what day it was for a bit there. I’m having a hard time recalling any details of the dreams now, but they’ve left their indelible imprint upon my Sunday (Sunday, right?) morning. I think my brain is trying to tell me it’s anxious, but I knew that already.


Writing Stuff

New Words: 300
On the folktale, and I’m at zero draft. Woohoo! Going to do a couple editing passes and then hand it off to fosteronfilm to first reader. Will toss it up on Critters the week after next. Quite a productive couple of days. And now I’m perusing the Korean folklore and mythology sites I’ve bookmarked in an effort to tempt my muse to maintain her productive streak.

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Pie v4.0

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Baked what I suspect is the final blackberry pie of the season. fosteronfilm holds out hopes that there might be enough of a harvest for one last pie, but the bushes are fading fast. It’s a race between whether the berries die or finish ripening. We shall see.

I’m getting pretty adept at the pie thing. I’ve started getting creative:


I decorated it with shapes and stuff!

Hobkin’s been a royal brat these last couple days. Yesterday afternoon, it was way too early for his lunch, but he was pacing in the kitchen and trying to herd me there, obviously wanting to be fed. I sat down on the floor in the living room to try to distract him with play time. What did he do? He goes behind me and tries to push me into the kitchen. When that doesn’t work, he digs at me, apparently trying to loosen me from my spot, and when that doesn’t work, he nips my rear. Impudent fuzz beast! After I finished laughing and berating him, I got up and he got an early lunch. Yep, I’m a wuss.

This morning he woke me up at an ungodly hour (gah, it’s before 6AM!) by first kicking me as we were snoozing together, and then walking over me on his way to his hutch. He’s lucky he’s so damn cute.

Continue reading →

Peter Pan

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Watched the 2003 re-make of Peter Pan. Surprising myself, I enjoyed it tremendously. They did an excellent job with casting both Wendy and Peter. Both of those young actors are going to grow up to be hotties. I was especially taken with Rachel Hurd-Wood, the actress playing Wendy, both with how lovely she was, as well as her range. And it certainly had more depth than the Disneyfied version. Charming.


Writing Stuff

Matthew first-readered the folktale. He liked it, happily, and pointed out a couple things I’d overlooked, one of which made me giggle. Did a pair of passes, and it’s now at first draft and loaded into the Critters queue. It should go up next week. I need to do some crits this week, most definitely.

And now that that folktale is off my plate, my muse is all frisky and pleased with herself.

Muse: “That was fun! Let’s do another one.”
Me: “Fun? FUN? My idea of fun is not contorting my brain until blood and words appear on the screen.”
Muse: “You want some cheese with that whine? Suck it up. You’re a writer.”
Me: *splutter*
Muse: “What are you waiting for? Type, biotch!”
Me: *sigh* “Yes’m.”

Club 100 For Writers
37

The Good Life and thank you

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First off, I want to give a big “thank you” to my anonymous benefactor, mouseferatu, teflaime, and sartorias, who between them, have extended my paid account until well into 2007. *sniffle* I love you guys.

Been watching episodes of The Good Life courtesy Netflix. It’s a British sitcom that came out in the mid-’70s. (When it was released in the U.S. they inexplicably re-named it “The Good Neighbors.”) The premise is that a corporate drone decides on his 40th birthday, with the support of his wife, to quit his job and try to become self-sufficient . . . in Surbiton. They plow up their yard to plant crops, get a goat and chickens, and try their hand at various domestic chores such as churning their own butter and weaving their own wool. Their neighbors, upper crust middle-class folks, are appalled, and provide commentary and periodic assistance as their efforts go awry. Wacky hyjinks ensue.

Matthew introduced me to the show, who in turn was addicted to it by his folks. A charming series. And they ended it when it was still popular because, *gasp*, they’d said everything they had to say and were done.

Anyhoo, while I was watching the opening episodes, I had a brief flash of “could the Fosters become self-sufficient?” This is what happens after a couple blackberry pies and talk of jam, I tell you. Thankfully, sanity intruded immediately. I reminded myself that I can’t grow a ficus. If I try to nurture a plant, it dies. The blackberries are thriving because I am stoically ignoring them except when they start fruiting. I also am sensitive to the point of allergic to sunlight (thanks to lupus), Matthew has a bad back, and I’m sure our home owners association would have hysterics en masse if we started keeping chickens. But I did find myself wondering if blueberries grow in this part of the country. Blueberry pie would be a nice addition to our summer harvest. Am I defying the capricious gods of agriculture to even contemplate such an undertaking?


Writing Stuff

Received a 64-day “Nice writing here but didn’t like it enough to buy” personal rejection from Ellen Datlow of SCI FICTION.

New Words: 600, -100
On the folktale. Galvanized to finish it, I plowed ahead and finally made it to zero draft. Did a couple passes and managed to cull out 100 words. Going to give it a few more passes and then hand it over to the hubby to first reader. He’s getting a bit white around the eyes with everything he needs to do for Dragon*Con, but I’ll bribe him with pie. Plan to toss it up to Critters next week, and if all goes well, it’ll be out the door week after that. Whew. This was one was rather like pulling teeth.

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500/day
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Paid account go bye-bye

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Urg. LiveJournal sent me notification that my paid account is expiring in ten days. I suspect hoping for another visit from the LJ fairy is foolish, so I’m resigned to letting my paid account lapse. Bummer. It’s a silly thing, but I like all the paid features like being able to customize the appearance of my blog, and all my pretty user icons. But I really can’t rationalize buying myself a paid account when money’s so tight. There are decided disadvantages to not having a reliable income.

[Edit: Squee! Thank you, thank you anonymous patron who gifted me with 2 paid months!
Edit2: mouseferatu just bought me 6 paid months! Thank you so much!
Edit3: teflaime just got me 12 paid months as an early Christmas present and sartorias transferred the remainder of her paid account to me! Mwaaa! I love you all! ]

Blackberry pie v3.0 turned out quite well. I was going to take another picture, but it was so bubbly and seductive, it got sliced up and pieces devoured before I could set the camera up.


Writing Stuff

Got an email from Absynthe Muse. They’ve assigned a mentee to me. I feel all grown up.

New Words: -300
On the folk tale. I hacked off 300 words from the beginning and it’s still over 2K. And it’s still not even at zero draft yet. I debated whether I should try to keep cutting or plow on ahead. I ended up doing neither and fiddling with my writing logs instead. Cat waxing, anyone?

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